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Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
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dsouza
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Post: #1
Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 9:37 AM

Ok been reading a lot of books on game lately.

Getting back into dating.

The big question, to raise your status and do so discreetly how many of you think you should ask women qualifying questions on dates? How many of you think women will like this or be appauled by it?

Here are some examples.

1) You look like a creative person, name the most creative thing you've done recently?

2) I'm looking for someone with a sense of humor, do you know any jokes?

By asking questions like these a woman can't simply answer yes or no and end the convo there.. She has to live up to the questions or appear as a tard.. And no 9 or 10 wants to look like a tard.. that means she has to PROVE herself in her answers.

The question is this may enhance conversation, and create some sense of self worth as you'd only be asking questions that are important to you to find a good match in a woman, however, it also may kill attraction by turning the date into an interview session.

Have any of you gone on dates asking qualifying questions.. to those who have how did things end up 1 2 3 dates later? Did the woman still want to see you?
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 9:38 AM by dsouza.)
10-04-2013 9:37 AM
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halo0073
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Post: #2
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 9:40 AM

No! I would run from a guy who asked me these questions esp number one. Number 2 isn't as bad. I would think there was something mentally wrong with a guy who asked me interview type questions. It's not natural smooth flowing convo.
10-04-2013 9:40 AM
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dsouza
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Post: #3
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 9:53 AM

(10-04-2013 9:40 AM)halo0073 Wrote:  No! I would run from a guy who asked me these questions esp number one. Number 2 isn't as bad. I would think there was something mentally wrong with a guy who asked me interview type questions. It's not natural smooth flowing convo.

hey Halo,

What would you suggest instead?
10-04-2013 9:53 AM
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tescosfinest
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Post: #4
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 9:56 AM

@dsouza you've gotta make assumptions in conversations, to take away the interview type feel, qualification without rapport is harmful towards your reputation.

chaos is opportunity, hope is made by the actions you take, fate is forged.
10-04-2013 9:56 AM
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mark-in-dallas
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Post: #5
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 9:57 AM

I agree with halo. It's fine to ask those kind of questions during naturally flowing conversation, but definitely not interview style.

Stop striving for PERFECTION, because the closer you get to achieving it the further away the goalpost moves. Instead, concentrate on PROGRESS, because you that you can meet and surpass every day!

Nobody changes until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change....
10-04-2013 9:57 AM
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dsouza
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Post: #6
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 10:11 AM

(10-04-2013 9:57 AM)mark-in-dallas Wrote:  I agree with halo. It's fine to ask those kind of questions during naturally flowing conversation, but definitely not interview style.

Ok so you're saying its not so much the questions but how they're presented during the date? For example, if she has a lot on her mind and wants to talk you let her take the lead and ask you stuff.. Only if the date becomes kinda quiet and she's looking to you for more communication do you STEALTHLY insert a question..

I come across as a sweet man.. I'm not really pushy at all. Definitely not trying for sex on the first date. However, I do want to emphasize that if a man doesn't take the lead at some point in the conversation and just lets it go by the flow he will eventually be categorized as a friend because his status is lower in her eyes than hers. If she sees you as a prize to be won over she will chase. If she sees you as someone whose a supplicant she will pity you, perhaps, try to assert herself, but you'll probably be bombarded with questions and statements like "are you seeing anyone else?", "I don't kiss on the first date.", "what kind of job do you have" and other questions that make a woman screen you instead of you being in control and seen as a prize.

Now at some point ones gotta act like a man. That means taking the lead. I agree these questions shouldn't come out of the blue or telegraphed.. They have to be asked in stealth mode in flowing conversation, at the right moments.

Just like stories. A man may have many tales to tell but sometimes the situations warrants more listening and less talking.

Lastly, if a man just acts quiet on the first date (especially if its a dinner date) he may be prone to be labelled as "too passive", not interesting, or husband material.. (I.e I'll boss that guy around... he'll pay for things and buy me things, and be a gentlemen.. let's see what I can use him for.(hidden beautiful womans agenda who has 10 guys after her at once..)

Now of course if your going to the movies you can keep the mouth closed until after when you go for coffee or dessert and have a conversation about the movie instead of qualifying her. I'm talking more about a dinner date where socializing is the norm.
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 10:22 AM by dsouza.)
10-04-2013 10:11 AM
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dsouza
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Post: #7
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 10:28 AM

To those who don't like qualifying questions, are these better?

"If you won a million dollars, and never had to work again in your life, what would you do?"

"What are your ambitions and dreams? What motivates you?"

"What are you hobbies and interests"

Those are 3 of my favorities too.
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 10:28 AM by dsouza.)
10-04-2013 10:28 AM
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Post: #8
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 10:36 AM

@dsouza yea at a dinner date socializing is the norm but experiences work as a better judge of charterer and allow natural conversations to flow from that, you don't have to stealthily do anything doing it openly is a confident action, and that's what most girls want you to do as it makes them feel good an lets you feel good to, but you're largely over thinking it, and the other branch tree options are good when you don't know the girl well but it won't help much during a fast conversation as its likely to lead to information overload.

chaos is opportunity, hope is made by the actions you take, fate is forged.
10-04-2013 10:36 AM
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Post: #9
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 11:40 AM

Ok u say u been reading a lot of books. I'm only halfway thru my book. The book is by a Harvard graduate who has a spreadsheet of all the girlss he has slept with. His main points that make sense to me are

1) Keep convo light and casual
2) Don't reveal much about yourself
3) Don't say things that would be classified as red flags

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10-04-2013 11:40 AM
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Post: #10
RE: Dating: Get her to qualify herself? YES or NO?
10-04-2013 11:40 AM

D, I understand your condition, but IF you have to THINK YOUR WAY THROUGH a date going down a MENTAL LIST, I don't see anyway you could be FUN, ALPHA or any other things a WOMAN'S CHECK0FF LIST has on it. Personally, I wouldn't do anything until it came NATURAL. I can see you sitting there with sweaty palms while going down your list ... YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSION would be waaaaay to serious for her to actually enjoy the date.

Remember: When it comes to WOMEN, and LIFE, too, for that matter: YOUR VERY OWN BRAIN CAN BE AND OFTEN IS --- YOUR WORSE ENEMY! Try enjoying the ride!

Reserving ALL RIGHTS to be WRONG. Acute

Relax, and remember you have BALLS for a reason. Use that POWER, and SMILE while doing so!!!

My two cents, and not a penny more!!!!
(This post was last modified: 10-04-2013 11:43 AM by MMM.)
10-04-2013 11:40 AM
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