fluffygirl12 Wrote:I'm sure you are , no offense intended ! I was more commenting on many of the threads/ remarks/ questions I have seen on this forum over time especially of the younger guys . It seems most of the posts are about " game " , how to get it , when to use it etc.etc.etc. It's often funny to see the difference between these and the ladies posts , especially for me being a few years older. It was more meant as tongue in cheek but practical advice

This may be slightly off topic but I'll go with what I'm going to say anyway...

It seems that there are like three distinct types of men. The beta male which desires the accompany of a woman so deeply he generally finds himself in her friend zone. The jerk male generally was a beta at one time and utilizes behaviors that are more aimed to "get it" not perhaps looking at the full picture at all either. The alpha male is the type of male that understands a woman is a human being and while you may do some "game" it is never intended in a way to cause psychological harm unlike the methods of the jerk.

In many ways, the jerk is an amalgamation between a beta and an alpha, whom still retains some immature childish behaviors as they are what you could call a half and half.

As males get older and the realities of life begin to set in much more fully, it's common for both jerks and betas to shed some of their former status and each become more alpha.


Hope this is helpful in determining what behaviors may be more attractive than others.

This is just my view and I know there are, oh I don't know, probably a BAZILLION others....

(12-19-2012 9:50 AM)xtraspecial Wrote:  First of all, I created this thread to learn about a woman's point of view regarding "attraction".

1. What makes a man attractive?

Confidence, not to be mistaken with arrogance.

Honesty, you don't have to give your life story, but we have a "shady" radar detector...if we suspect you're playing us, we will usually mentally write you off. The idea that someone is trust worthy is attractive.

Laughter and a genuine smile, we can all take ourselves too seriously. When you find someone who can laugh with you and occasionally even at themselves, it's golden. AND not in a put yourself down way either, not attractive, but we all have instances where we've made a perfectly normal blunder that can become a really great story - share it!

A woman can write off the most gorgeous looking man if he is narcissistic, negative or rude.

(12-19-2012 9:50 AM)xtraspecial Wrote:  2. What are the levels of attractions?

There seems to be no getting around it. We are visual beings and sight is the first level, but it may not be what you think. And it can vary wildly...which may not help you, lol. Society as a whole is becoming more self serving and superficial but a woman with a healthy sense of self is going to notice the guy who fits her MO (it could be as little as - he should have kind eyes or an easy smile - not necessarily look like Jet Li or Brad Pitt!) but we can be incredibly flexible depended on commonality, but if he isn't someone she feel's she's compatible with, it doesn't matter if he fits the mental image or not, you'll never get your foot through the door to the next level if she thinks your trouble...(remember, I said a woman with a HEALTHY sense of self). She''ll be looking to see if you have anything if common. Are you someone she would like to spend more time with/getting to know? We look for someone genuine. Then you get to trust. If she believes you aren't a user/jerk the doors open to any number of future possibilities. The whole idea is that when there is trust, there is an openness emotionally, mentally and physically...I believe it works both ways too ^_~

Levels:
Physical attraction +
Compatibility +
Trust =
Endless possibilities

(12-19-2012 9:50 AM)xtraspecial Wrote:  3. What increases or decreases your level of attraction for a man.

I don't recall having a "type" or particular look. Black, Asian, Costa Rican, White... Superficially, I've always liked men who put some thought at least into their appearance. Was never attracted to a slob, not to be confused with a man returning from a long day's work...I find my husband VERY sexy when he comes home sweaty and mussed up...HOT! Too happy to fawn over and help him out in the shower...but I digress... But I wouldn't expect him to go everywhere like that, lol.
increase or decrease in levels of attraction:
ability to communicate effectively - fighting is such a waste of vitality
mutual respect - whether in each others company or not
maturity - you can have fun and be silly w/o being immature and thoughtless
ability to take responsibility for actions, or inaction
If a guy is a bully, a be-littler of others or self, immature, blame-placer or often negative....BLECK

My husband wears the pants in our relationship. That bugs some of my women friends. We're on even playing ground as far as income goes. He takes care of the bills and I don't worry about where the money goes because I don't have to. He has a strong work ethic. Like AlternativeGirl's husband, he does what's right, is moral, honest and has good sense. He's not perfect, but then neither am I, and since it's obvious he's willing to love all of me (flaws included) I certainly choose to love all of him

The stronger our mental and emotional bond, the more open and experimental our physical bond became/becomes.

That's my 2 & 1/2 cents.

Many Thanks NUTRIX.....that's EXACTLY the response I was looking for.....

i just think of attraction as a mere curiousity towards an individual being... and if there's chemistry between the two individuals Bam!.... Synergy! and if things are starting to look very positive Wam! Love! magicial and unfashionable.

SeeUSmile!

Yeah sometimes times 2 people are horny they see each other and bam they get it on and they go the separate ways

I think attraction is quite different for men and women. It's usually primarily physical for guys, but I was actually very attracted to the chic that dumped me cuz of my religion, but was NOT attracted to her physically. Don't get me wrong I wanted to "kiss and cuddle" but not necessarily have sex with her all the time. It's peculiar cuz I am a very passionate and sexual guy.

For women attraction is clearly made up of several components such as confidence, intelligence, and charisma. I've also found that women find social guys irresistible. Nutrix broke it down very well.

Like I mentioned before, when I first started using pheromones I thought attraction was when a woman's panties developed some moisture. Through my own experiences as well as of those on this forum, I've learned that attraction is quite different than "sexual energy".