(10-04-2013 11:40 AM)MMM Wrote:  D, I understand your condition, but IF you have to THINK YOUR WAY THROUGH a date going down a MENTAL LIST, I don't see anyway you could be FUN, ALPHA or any other things a WOMAN'S CHECK0FF LIST has on it. Personally, I wouldn't do anything until it came NATURAL. I can see you sitting there with sweaty palms while going down your list ... YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSION would be waaaaay to serious for her to actually enjoy the date.

Remember: When it comes to WOMEN, and LIFE, too, for that matter: YOUR VERY OWN BRAIN CAN BE AND OFTEN IS --- YOUR WORSE ENEMY! Try enjoying the ride!

Reserving ALL RIGHTS to be WRONG.

Relax, and remember you have BALLS for a reason. Use that POWER, and SMILE while doing so!!!

My two cents, and not a penny more!!!!

Very good reasoning, but what happens when you labelled as boring because you don't have insight into good conversation? Then what? What happens when you go with the flow, laugh, smile, answer her questions, avoid red zone topics (religion, politics, whether or not you want to have her babies one day), etc but don't stimulate her mind? Then what?

(10-04-2013 11:40 AM)henry b Wrote:  Ok u say u been reading a lot of books. I'm only halfway thru my book. The book is by a Harvard graduate who has a spreadsheet of all the girlss he has slept with. His main points that make sense to me are

1) Keep convo light and casual
2) Don't reveal much about yourself
3) Don't say things that would be classified as red flags

Point 1: Any tips on how to continously keep things light and casual without appearing dimwitted? What does he recommend talking about? The weather? Even better what is considered an example of breaking this rule?

Point 2: Mystery is good and also shows modesty.. However, eventually a woman will think you have something to hide.. And if you are seeing other women etc and have been keeping your mouth shut all this time she will eventually find that out (why? because women are curious creatures and the more you allude to mysterious silence the more she'll eventually investigate) and label you a player or dump you.

Point3: Red flag... some examples?

What is the name of this book? I'd like to look it up.. Please name and author. or website.

Stop chasing your tail. Stop with the PUA crap. Have you ever heard the definition of insanity. " doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" . As someone on the outside looking in, you appear to have fallen into the PUA rabbit hole, constantly looking for the next new thing. Sometimes dates just don't work out, that's life. You seem like you're trying to create the perfect date flow chart. There willl be awkward moments on ever date. Getting a girl to qualify is just another stupid technique. Have a couple conversations, if you like her she qualified if she doesn't then its on to the next one. Years ago I dismissed a pretty Jamaican girl because she lied and was racist. I found out that cutting them loose asap is the best course. Sometimes they'll come back around for a quickie.

(10-04-2013 11:48 AM)dsouza Wrote:  Very good reasoning, but what happens when you labelled as boring because you don't have insight into good conversation? Then what? What happens when you go with the flow, laugh, smile, answer her questions, avoid red zone topics (religion, politics, whether or not you want to have her babies one day), etc but don't stimulate her mind? Then what?

GeeWeez, D! Those are EASY questions, even for ME!

GOOD CONVERSATION comes from her interest and yours. It's like lots of women say they want intelligent conversation. To me, that means conversations about what they're into/what they like/what they like to do. Check it out the next time you run into a woman that say they like intelligent conversation. AND YES, THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS.

You ... CAN ... NOT ... STIMULATE ... EVERYBODY'S ... MIND. Same reason as above. DIFFERENT LIKES ... DIFFERENT TASTE. Find out their taste ASAP, and then decide what YOU want to do.

You keep looking for stuff to say, but before dates, besides all the fun stuff you've done, seen and heard through life ... looking over the lastest news is always a PLUS. As long as you don't start talking about babies, dogs and animals getting KILLED.

Trying to love someone from a book still doesn't make sense to me, but these books are selling. Fun and funny books rocks! Learn to be fun and funny, and judge from their facial expressions if that's ENOUGH fun/funny for the day.

THE END.

I've noticed a common denominator is this thread.. Just about 95 % of people stated that getting a woman to qualify is inappropriate and will LOSE me the woman and dates in the end.

I am not going to argue with these kind of stats.. Thus I am no longer going to use PUA books.

I will simply take women to exciting places on dates and let the experiences forge the discussions for the night. Dinner is one option but there are sooo many others.

The places you pick for dates can help break the discussion barrier... if you go to the movies you have the movie as an anchor to talk about over coffee. If you go to an opera or a theatrical you have the show to talk about.. if you go to a concert you have the rock band to talk about. if you go to an amusement park you can enjoy rides and games together. If you go to a museum you can talk all about evolution. Well you can slowly get any woman to figure you out and be mysterious just by going to so many different places over TIME.

Basically by keeping things interesting in the places you go and always changing things up you come across as an exciting person without resorting to PUA material.

But let me tell you this.. It is not a cheap. Time to start budgeting myself for a great dating life.

At least this way, even if its not the best way. leaves ones mind sane.. Your not memorizing lines etc. You can adapt to every situation with common sense. Its too easy to see through PUA material.. How do these guys stay in business?

As for QUALIFYING: Sure you can qualify! And I do all the time!!! BUT! I never ask those types of questions until she's smiling, laughing and having fun!

*she's laughing* "Can you even cook, or are your a Microwave Queen!?!?"

It's all about TACT and TIMING ... IF ... you asked ME! HECK! I use some of the pick up stuff all the time, but I serve it in HUMOR FORM.

And as I told you a good while back, I 'THINK' you THINK TOO MUCH. Your own brain is your worse enemy! It will have you in places/doing things that you have no business!!!! Work on you, and let'em have it, D!!! YOU can dewwit! Yes ... YOU ... can!

Trying to impress is never fun! It's why I do what a LOT of women say men don't do: LISTEN and PAY ATTENTION. They will tell you everything you need to KNOW.

THE END.

(10-04-2013 10:06 PM)MMM Wrote:  Trying to impress is never fun! It's why I do what a LOT of women say men don't do: LISTEN and PAY ATTENTION. They will tell you everything you need to KNOW.

Priceless... "They will tell you everything you need to know"
Thanks M to the M!

Oh gosh, I never knew that dating was a science. Making a woman qualify herself might show whether she's good enough, but it makes you look rather odd, in my eyes that is. The best of luck with whatever it is you are going to do, hope it all turns out as expected!

Haven't read through the thread at all so I may repeat things but

1) I don't plan or even think of what I want to say, if it comes to my mind I say it period.

2) I read a lot so I know a lot of little facts that always keep me in an interesting conversation.

3) don't be afraid to embellish a little bit. I sometimes make up small little stories that aid me in conversation. Nothing to crazy though.

4) Learn to push back. Women seem to like it when I talk from a different angle than she is used to. Like if she tells you she hates her job most people would ask why and listen to the BS. I'll tell her to quit and stop wasting her time.

5) Put down the PUA books, learn to get comfortable in conversation and the rest is history.

Practise is more important than concepts in books read books out loud while u at home it will help ur convo skills hell u can read them PUA books outload but focus more in the inflection and emphasis on word if you wanna impress people with your mouth isnt really about what u talk but how you do it