This might be an unusual subject here, but I'm trying to figure out what could be used to make men NOT want me.

The situation is that I often spend time with few guys I have friendzoned years ago, and they still are strongly sexually interested in me and can be annoyingly open about it. Usually I just turn it into a joke and keep conversation going about something else. It's flattering to feel desired by men, but too much of this kind of attention from guys who've known me for years does piss me off since I never gave them any false hopes and have said many times that nothing's gonna happen no matter how much they want it. And even more pissed I get when they show their jealousy towards the man I actually do have sex with. It has led to some fights with those guys in the past, and I'm trying to find a way to avoid that in the future.

I respect them as friends and know for sure that they also feel the same about me. It's similar to respect for a cool male buddy, except for the fact that the buddy happens to be a nice looking girl which messes things up between us. So I'm thinking I could use something that would make me appear less attractive as a girl, but still not repulsive as a person.

I know few of the ladies here have some experience of blends intended for men, so I'm looking for an input about how those could be used in my situation. Or is there any sense in using some intimidating work-environment blends to at least make them less vocal about their desires?

Men are also welcome to comment about the subject. I'd love to see your opinion on the situation and how I could possible handle it better with or without pheromones aid.

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Guys go thru this as well. Human nature make us want what we cannot have and the less chance of us having it mars us want it more. It's prolly some primitive survival thing but in modern day society it can get a bit.. overwhelming.

I have female friends as well that are really fun to chill with. Sadly some of these females, despite making it clear, still take the occasional opp to hook up. The friend who i thought was being happy helperton by aiding me into the house is now trying to take off my pants. Or the famous "ill tuck you in" move that sometimes ends in them trying to kiss you or the classic jump in bed cuddle up try to hook up move. Then the infamous head on lap entry to blowjob move.

Then yes comes the evil looks and pissy jealousy factor when you are out with them and really click with a girl. Yeah that's always awkward and usually ruins nights. Then come the apologies the next day blah blah blah.

I wish there were an easy solution to this as I would just tell you. But I have no solution as people will be people. Some agree to friendship but have ulterior motive and some agree to it and stick to it. It's really a crap shoot. Best solution is to just keep being yourself and don't change anything for anyone, especially those who don't listen or respect your wishes.

Usually a sit down and reminder of the limits is in order. Sometimes in the extremes you have to actually punish the offender. Punish as in cut down on hang time, be a bit weird around them, standoffish, "forget" to invite them to an outing. Bottom line is sometimes you have to be creative in maneuvering your will onto others or suffer the fact they will keep doing the same to you.

Nothing turns me off like shit load of est, sex drive goes to zero, you will also notice they will start catering to your every whim, although you will come off as very fragile.

(05-29-2013 11:20 AM)Blade Wrote:  Nothing turns me off like shit load of est, sex drive goes to zero, you will also notice they will start catering to your every whim, although you will come off as very fragile.

Yeah a lot of est will kill desire in men. You may not like being treated as a high est female.

Thundr makes a good point about setting boundaries. Dont let the Pheromones dictate your boundary.

This is a tricky one Fleur. If you all hang out and carry on together like buddies then maybe you can just be up front? Instead of playing it off like a joke, call them on it and be honest about how it's making you feel...and you don't have to do it in a bitchy way either, just be honest. If they really DO respect you, they will understand, right?

OR, my personal favorite which works for me but may not work for you, is treating guys like family. Since I'm married NO GUY has even a glimmer of hope I treat guys like their my brothers. I usually do pretty good setting boundaries but every now and then you'll find one who will step a bit too far. Reminding them that I love them like family but that their words or actions are crossing the line usually does the trick. Kindly, but firmly, so there's no mistake that I'm joking. My true friends or the people who honestly respect me as a person and as a woman, get it. If that doesn't do the trick then I'd have to agree with thundr and say some kind of disciplinary action is required - like distancing yourself from that person for a while.

You want to surround yourself with people who are good for you and who genuinely care about you and how you wish to be treated. That's a sure fire way to weed out the people who don't.

Just my couple of pennies Very best wishes to you

(05-29-2013 11:28 AM)paradigmshift Wrote:  Yeah a lot of est will kill desire in men. You may not like being treated as a high est female.

Thundr makes a good point about setting boundaries. Dont let the Pheromones dictate your boundary.

This is a good statement. One that I simultaneously need to learn and to say to noobs. Pheromones will make you act out of character and def push you over your limits. With drinking or hooking up or just saying regrettable shit. Great advice.

(05-29-2013 10:33 AM)thundr Wrote:  Guys go thru this as well. Human nature make us want what we cannot have and the less chance of us having it mars us want it more. It's prolly some primitive survival thing but in modern day society it can get a bit.. overwhelming.

I have female friends as well that are really fun to chill with. Sadly some of these females, despite making it clear, still take the occasional opp to hook up. The friend who i thought was being happy helperton by aiding me into the house is now trying to take off my pants. Or the famous "ill tuck you in" move that sometimes ends in them trying to kiss you or the classic jump in bed cuddle up try to hook up move. Then the infamous head on lap entry to blowjob move.

Then yes comes the evil looks and pissy jealousy factor when you are out with them and really click with a girl. Yeah that's always awkward and usually ruins nights. Then come the apologies the next day blah blah blah.

I wish there were an easy solution to this as I would just tell you. But I have no solution as people will be people. Some agree to friendship but have ulterior motive and some agree to it and stick to it. It's really a crap shoot. Best solution is to just keep being yourself and don't change anything for anyone, especially those who don't listen or respect your wishes.

Usually a sit down and reminder of the limits is in order. Sometimes in the extremes you have to actually punish the offender. Punish as in cut down on hang time, be a bit weird around them, standoffish, "forget" to invite them to an outing. Bottom line is sometimes you have to be creative in maneuvering your will onto others or suffer the fact they will keep doing the same to you.

Thanks Thundr, that is a great insight to the situation. I will try to go with what you said and will continue being myself. It just sometimes feels crappy when I can't do anything about the situation. Talking about limits does not do wonders, but I try that when things get too weird. And now that you say about punishing, I start to get how me ignoring them after some major jealousy episodes helped to lessen those moves on me later.
I totally get what you say about women moves when trying to hook up, I think I used the jump in bed one years ago on a guy from college with the same success ( =no success at all, he blew me off ). Men are usually more straightforward and just try to grab my ass or boobs when I'm in close proximity range, or tell me how would they f**k me. I mostly got rid of the touching after years of convincing those old friends, and to new male acquaintances lately I choose to lie that I am in a serious relationship. It seems to help them to rule me out as a hookup candidate and agree to the idea of just hanging out as friends before they find out that I'm actually single (and sadly a lier).

(05-29-2013 11:20 AM)Blade Wrote:  Nothing turns me off like shit load of est, sex drive goes to zero, you will also notice they will start catering to your every whim, although you will come off as very fragile.

(05-29-2013 11:28 AM)paradigmshift Wrote:  Yeah a lot of est will kill desire in men. You may not like being treated as a high est female.

Thundr makes a good point about setting boundaries. Dont let the Pheromones dictate your boundary.

Thanks, est is worth trying then. I'm not expecting pheromones to do miracles fixing those issues, and will keep relying on myself, but trying different approaches wouldn't hurt.

Heres some info on est that i pulled from dianes site before she brought it down.

http://pherotruth.org/Thread-True-Love-T...8#pid36578

(05-29-2013 11:42 AM)NuTrix Wrote:  This is a tricky one Fleur. If you all hang out and carry on together like buddies then maybe you can just be up front? Instead of playing it off like a joke, call them on it and be honest about how it's making you feel...and you don't have to do it in a bitchy way either, just be honest. If they really DO respect you, they will understand, right?

OR, my personal favorite which works for me but may not work for you, is treating guys like family. Since I'm married NO GUY has even a glimmer of hope I treat guys like their my brothers. I usually do pretty good setting boundaries but every now and then you'll find one who will step a bit too far. Reminding them that I love them like family but that their words or actions are crossing the line usually does the trick. Kindly, but firmly, so there's no mistake that I'm joking. My true friends or the people who honestly respect me as a person and as a woman, get it. If that doesn't do the trick then I'd have to agree with thundr and say some kind of disciplinary action is required - like distancing yourself from that person for a while.

You want to surround yourself with people who are good for you and who genuinely care about you and how you wish to be treated. That's a sure fire way to weed out the people who don't.

Just my couple of pennies Very best wishes to you

I've said many times to their faces that they have no such chances with me. I've also tried being rude and harsh saying that, but then felt like total crap after hurting my dear friends feelings although I was just telling them the truth. I'd expect the situation to be clear to them by now, so now I just try to keep cool about what they suggest to me and just joke around not letting that become a thing to argue about.
About treating like family, some of them ARE my family. I have no siblings so having friends who I can be myself with is important like nothing else, and I'm sure they know it. They've been there for me when I had some hard times, and did not try anything that might get me upset then. But after things got better they stopped being protective and started to throw themselves at me once again. I think you being married is what helps the most to keep those guys at bay. And my behaviour can be somewhat confusing, since I do not seek for a long term relationship and appear available, but still set the boundaries of a 'taken' woman.

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(05-29-2013 1:03 PM)paradigmshift Wrote:  Heres some info on est that i pulled from dianes site before she brought it down.

http://pherotruth.org/Thread-True-Love-T...8#pid36578

Thanks! I've also checked Est descriptions on other resources, so far I like the idea of trying it. Any advices on a dosage to start with?