Any bites on the neutral third party?

Three, and I've gotten opinions from each, which I will aggregate and post on tomorrow. All three basically echoed the same thoughts I'd had though, in that all parties involved were responsible to some extent. Look for more details tomorrow, tonight I'm just going to watch TV and relax though.

Okay, so I've now gotten feedback from 3 very new members who have not spent a lot of time on the forum and weren't likely to have preconceived opinions of any of the posters involved, and the general consensus among all 3 is pretty much the same:

Member journals are their own and nobody should be allowed to shit on their parade, regardless of what they have to say in them.

Paradox takes things to personally and lets every little thing get to him. He brings up valid points which of course members have the right to disagree with or question, but they then get sucked in and also end up taking things to personally and it escalates from there, then dies down only to start back up a few pages later.

Paradox baits or puts out carrots to intentionally garner some of these responses and criticism.

The other members involved gang up and bully Paradox.

If a member does not get along with another member then they should not read or respond in threads started by that member.

As to inappropriate postings, one member felt that aside from one of Androcles' posts there wasn't anything really over the top that warranted banishment, but he didn't elaborate further. The other two members felt that temporary suspensions of posting privileges for a few days were warranted for those involved, and one of the two went on to say "until things calm down and they can respect each others opinions without disrespecting each other."

This was pretty much what I expected and what I've observed over time as well. Everybody involved is at fault, and it isn't the first time that its happened, but the next will not go unnoticed or unacted upon.

The idea of temporary suspensions or bans was a great idea and will be implemented after 2 warnings have been issued, but, that will not apply to the tension between Paradox and the other members because this was far from the first time its happened, the next provocation by Paradox or attack on him by anyone else will result in an immediate 30 day suspension, and the one after that in a permanent ban.

This is not kindergarten and I am not a babysitter. If you guys can't play nice with each other then just stay away from each other altogether, and stop reading threads and/or journals authored by those you don't like and can't get along with!

(10-27-2017 1:48 PM)mark-in-dallas Wrote:  Okay, so I've now gotten feedback from 3 very new members who have not spent a lot of time on the forum and weren't likely to have preconceived opinions of any of the posters involved, and the general consensus among all 3 is pretty much the same:

Member journals are their own and nobody should be allowed to shit on their parade, regardless of what they have to say in them.

Paradox takes things to personally and lets every little thing get to him. He brings up valid points which of course members have the right to disagree with or question, but they then get sucked in and also end up taking things to personally and it escalates from there, then dies down only to start back up a few pages later.

Paradox baits or puts out carrots to intentionally garner some of these responses and criticism.

The other members involved gang up and bully Paradox.

If a member does not get along with another member then they should not read or respond in threads started by that member.

As to inappropriate postings, one member felt that aside from one of Androcles' posts there wasn't anything really over the top that warranted banishment, but he didn't elaborate further. The other two members felt that temporary suspensions of posting privileges for a few days were warranted for those involved, and one of the two went on to say "until things calm down and they can respect each others opinions without disrespecting each other."

This was pretty much what I expected and what I've observed over time as well. Everybody involved is at fault, and it isn't the first time that its happened, but the next will not go unnoticed or unacted upon.

The idea of temporary suspensions or bans was a great idea and will be implemented after 2 warnings have been issued, but, that will not apply to the tension between Paradox and the other members because this was far from the first time its happened, the next provocation by Paradox or attack on him by anyone else will result in an immediate 30 day suspension, and the one after that in a permanent ban.

This is not kindergarten and I am not a babysitter. If you guys can't play nice with each other then just stay away from each other altogether, and stop reading threads and/or journals authored by those you don't like and can't get along with!

I agree with everything here.

At the site that I moderated I fostered a brotherhood mentality. I hammered home that we are all brothers and should behave like it. My posts to prove this are still there. After awhile guys would call each other Bro. I'd hoped that it would keep the infighting down...and it did.

Mark, Thanks for taking all of the trouble to have this situation reviewed. I hope this ends this.

I am not a big pheromone expert, but I have been around PT reading threads and journals, trying to learn. My opinion is that there is a lot of valuable information both from Paradox and other "senior members". However, this whole situation reminds me of some sort of battle of egos. While Paradox's manner of communication and tone may seem quite arrogant, a confident and "alpha" man should be totally cool with it. Freaking out and losing it like I've seen some members do reminds a reaction of a pimple-nosed teenager not a grown adult, sorry for the analogy. My suggestion is that all the involved parties should make peace, post their ideas, thoughts and observations but not cling to them and let go as soon as info is posted, and not be so goddamn serious about themselves.

(10-29-2017 2:54 PM)campoviejo Wrote:  My suggestion is that all the involved parties should make peace, post their ideas, thoughts and observations but not cling to them and let go as soon as info is posted, and not be so goddamn serious about themselves.

AMEN! Less self-righteousness and arrogance, more humility and benevolence. I say this as a super arrogant mofo who is working on his humility.

(10-29-2017 2:54 PM)campoviejo Wrote:  I am not a big pheromone expert, but I have been around PT reading threads and journals, trying to learn. My opinion is that there is a lot of valuable information both from Paradox and other "senior members". However, this whole situation reminds me of some sort of battle of egos. While Paradox's manner of communication and tone may seem quite arrogant, a confident and "alpha" man should be totally cool with it. Freaking out and losing it like I've seen some members do reminds a reaction of a pimple-nosed teenager not a grown adult, sorry for the analogy. My suggestion is that all the involved parties should make peace, post their ideas, thoughts and observations but not cling to them and let go as soon as info is posted, and not be so goddamn serious about themselves.

I disagree. I believe that a confident alpha responds when they feel the need too. Sometimes that response is a result of baiting. Sometimes alphas get angry. Find me one confident alpha that has never gotten angry and responded to that anger....Ever.

I had a neighbor many years ago whose Great Dane would shit on my lawn. I spoke to him about it and he said that I should thank him because his dog was fertilizing my lawn. I disagreed with his belief and what he said. So I followed him to find out where he lived and I collected shit for a week and left it on his lawn with a note. He stopped fertilizing my lawn. Confident alphas get mad. Confident alphas can be baited. Confident alphas respond and sometimes they react.

(10-28-2017 1:36 PM)Paradox Wrote:  I agree with everything here.

At the site that I moderated I fostered a brotherhood mentality. I hammered home that we are all brothers and should behave like it. My posts to prove this are still there. After awhile guys would call each other Bro. I'd hoped that it would keep the infighting down...and it did.

Mark, Thanks for taking all of the trouble to have this situation reviewed. I hope this ends this.

Before I make my point I need to say that I mean this in the most constructive way possible, and not with the aim of offending or hurting anyones feelings. I just hope I can say this without getting banned and freely express myself uncensored as it states on the front page.

I admittedly haven't read all of your posts Paradox, but I've read quite a few and I don't sense any comraderie or brotherhoodly vibes from what you say. I just read through review threads most the time so I could be wrong... But you come across as reviewing very little, trivialising other members experiences because they didn't live up to your expectations, dismissing reports because someone didnt get laid or is married and putting across that the reason you do so is because you're a PUA god.

These are just some of the reasons that I have to disagree and say I haven't read a single post that has instilled a sense of brotherhood in me... But self entitled judgement instead. You've been a member for years and Im still new, Im sure there are some "brotherly" posts from you but, Ive never found one and I doubt any newbie will easily stumble on one.

I can't just sit here and let you talk abou how much of a sense of brotherhood you instill in people (and who cares if it was in another forum,your conduct in this one is what matters and is by no way connected to your previous administration experience) when you behave in such a manner then, against a founding principle, decide to post you've discovered a new , lightyears ahead of the game secret but refuse to post it publicly.

Its almost like you're bragging about what a great forum member you are knowing people are thinking twice about calling you out cause they're afraid of getting banned.

With the utmost respect Paradox,that is extremely hypocritical and I for one cant stand it.

I look for no further dispute,I will not reply to what you say...

And now Im off to work hoping I wont be censored and banned by time Im home.

Of course, a confident individual would not let people tread on him and would respond to any such attempt with authority. However (I may be wrong or it is just my perception), the conflict here does not seem to be the case, as I mentioned before it seemed like a battle of injured egos.

(10-29-2017 11:27 PM)DarkLord1 Wrote:  I disagree. I believe that a confident alpha responds when they feel the need too. Sometimes that response is a result of baiting. Sometimes alphas get angry. Find me one confident alpha that has never gotten angry and responded to that anger....Ever.

I had a neighbor many years ago whose Great Dane would shit on my lawn. I spoke to him about it and he said that I should thank him because his dog was fertilizing my lawn. I disagreed with his belief and what he said. So I followed him to find out where he lived and I collected shit for a week and left it on his lawn with a note. He stopped fertilizing my lawn. Confident alphas get mad. Confident alphas can be baited. Confident alphas respond and sometimes they react.

(10-30-2017 2:35 AM)LieutenantMones Wrote:  Its almost like you're bragging about what a great forum member you are knowing people are thinking twice about calling you out cause they're afraid of getting banned.

Nobody gets banned for calling out or questioning another member, any member, unless they do so making offensive or derogatory statements about that member when calling them out

(10-30-2017 2:35 AM)LieutenantMones Wrote:  And now Im off to work hoping I wont be censored and banned by time Im home.

I saw nothing in your post that would warrant a ban, and as to censorship, no member has EVER been censored for anything less than spamming the forum or making an extremely vulgar post.