The difference between the North and the South - clearly explained.. at last:

The North has Bloomingdale' s;
the South has Dollar General.

The North have coffee houses;
the South has Waffle Houses .

The North have dating services;
the South has family reunions.

The North have switchblade knives;
the South has .45's

The North have double last names;
the South has double first names.

The North have Indy car races;
The South has stock car races .

North have Cream of Wheat;
the South has grits.

The North have green salads;
the South has collard greens .

The North have lobsters;
the South has crawfish.

The North have the rust belt;
the South has the Bible Belt .

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH...

In the South: If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be
along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for...

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...
Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural,
and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. ..
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

Send this to people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it. Your kin would get a kick out of it too!

I don't live in Georgia anymore, but I remember 6 or 7 years back when we had 1/2 inch of snow everything closed down. The one thing that ticks me off though is that when I moved from GA to "The north" the kids said I had an accent. However, every summer when I would go back to visit my family they would say I had a northerners accent. I could never get it right. (I also lived in Texas for a short time) (Have family in both GA and TX)

If you go to the REAL south (that's the southern hemisphere, mate)...

1. All Americans are "Yanks". If you try to explain that you were born south of the Mason-Dixon line and are not a "Yankee", you will be told, "Mate, I was born south of the Equator."
2. "No worries" is a valid answer to any question.
3. Australian beer, unlike American beer, contains alcohol.
4. Sex is OK to talk about. Money is highly private.
5. No politician can be trusted. Sports stars can do nothing wrong.
6. Hamburgers have beetroot on them. Learn to like it.
7. We do not drive "on the wrong side of the road." You do. We drive on the left. Left is right, right is wrong.
9. Australian oceans, unlike American oceans, contain sharks.