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This is a difficult thing for me to write about, but I need away to express myself. Suffering from depression and anxiety for the last year or so, has pretty much crippled my potential and progress in life.
The biggest thing on my mind being that I ain't worth shit, and my experience in life backs it up.
The constant daily feeling of having your emotions and brains blown out is torture. But this has forced me to look deep within myself for solutions.
Living in a society and culture where pretty much your journey(job, relationships etc) is judged by the approval of others is a very unhelpful state of mind.
Long story short instead of fighting all this shit, I decided to start embracing it.
When I start to feel bad I would just sit there and embrace the pain, and gladly accept it as part of lifes myrid of experiences, and the best thing about it is that it is all mine, fuck yeah. When ever some reminds me of my faults, I just think to myself hell yeah, as I know what they are saying about a moment in time, not me just being.
Same thing with my faults and so called short comings, I embrace them, that is me, it is my expression in life. But none of that defines me, they are just an expression.
All this removes power from external sources, and pretty much kills approval seeking from everyone.
I'm working on knowing what I really want in life, it does not matter if I don't have it right now.
Being present and embracing each subtle experience and feeling good or bad is liberating. Even more power is embracing the fact that I could be dead at any time, so all that shit that causes negative states of mind means fuck all.
I know that I'm not the most skilled, smartest, I know that I don't have what other people consider to be a good life like friends, relationships, good job, etc. But my only score card of life now is if I can look at today and say did I really feel life in the moment?

My depression and anxiety are far from gone, but each day I chip away at the negative state of being and in time before I know it I will be fearless.

NO! You've got some of it right, and are on the right track, but do NOT embrace pain and suffering, instead when you feel it coming on force yourself to think about something happier or enjoyable. Accept yourself for who you are and stop worrying about who you want to be. When somebody puts you down realize they are only doing so to pick themselves up, its them with the problem, NOT YOU!

Look in the mirror each morning and at at night before going to bed, and tell yourself out loud that you are a positive and happy person. Do not use reverse negative statements like there's nothing wrong with me or I am not a bad person, because all your brain hears is the "wrong" or "bad".

Our every thought, feeling and emotion are driven by chemical reactions, and our brains are chemical fucking whores that will happily let us wallow in pain and misery to get its chemical fix. Your brain doesn't give a shit about you, it wants what it wants and doesn't give a shit whether its seratonin and dopamine fixes come from making you happy or miserable.

The good news is that you can reprogram your brain to wander toward more positive and happy thoughts to satisfy its chemical cravings, and it really is NOT that hard to do. But, it takes a conscious effort to do so and force your brain to feed itself only on happy thoughts and memories.

Take it from someone who's been down that road, before anti-depressents existed and the only cure came by way of behavior modification.

I hope you can take something from what I've said and find the peace and happiness that everyone deserves.

Best of luck and definitely go with positive reinforcements verses accepting the pain and negative. The more positive things you think and bring into your brain, the better you will feel. Best of luck with what is a hard journey I am sure, but you can make it !!!!!!

Hey brother a good first step in your journey is posting here and reading about others transformations in the forum. First off having a place where real men talk about their feelings is rare and enlightening. And second writing things down and getting them off your chest as like a great purge. The people here really do give a shit.

Now my inner self feels a lot more soild and stable, it's like I can feel my space I occupy. This is all without mone self-effects.
I'm accepting who I am, and my short comings as well, I'm choosing to improve myself for my exploration of life and not the fulfill the expectation of others.
I am alone, but this feeling of being alone is more cleaner and whole then the feeling of loneliness and needing.
Do people notice me more, not really, but this time I don't take it as a personal need for validation.
As long as I can take a breath, I am validated.