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+--- Thread: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. (/Thread-Books-on-social-skills-presence-influence-charisma-etc)
Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - Futureman - 10-11-2015 6:10 PM
I'm interested in sifting through the hundreds on hyped books on these subjects and reading only the very best--whether it's a classic like Carnegie's How to Win Friends... or something more recent.
I see that an author by the name of Patrick King has been cranking out books of this sort like popcorn. Is his material worth picking up? Same with Charlie Houpert. Any good?
What can you recommend, and why?
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - fueroman3 - 10-12-2015 1:37 AM
I've been reading through Patrick King's books on kindle. They're fairly cheap and easy to read. Doesn't take up much time to finish a book and feel like you've accomplished something. And if it's good you can always re-read it, which is something I have a hard time doing with 300+ page books.
I just listened to Connect Instantly on audible and it was good. I want to read the book to gain a deeper understanding of the material. His latest book is Superhuman Eye Contact Training: How to Radiate Confidence, Attract Others, and Demand Respect... With Just Your Eyes. It's 99 cents on amazon right now and I just picked it up.
If you want the very best then yea, you've gotta dig into those classics (How to win friends...) and really study them thoroughly and then perfect your use of those principles.
I've also noticed that many authors refer back to a lot of the same studies and materials such as the classics.
If you listen to podcasts then check out The Art Of Charm podcast on itunes. Lots of authors and guests on exactly this kind of stuff.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - Futureman - 10-12-2015 7:17 AM
I've not heard of the Art of Charm. I'll certainly check it out!
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - cali4ya858 - 10-13-2015 7:23 PM
The most influential books and programs that changed my life:
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
The Laws of Success by Napoleon Hill
Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
The Blueprint by Real Social Dynamics (This is a DVD series)
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - Futureman - 10-13-2015 8:30 PM
Good list. While the PUA stuff doesn't appeal to me, I'm curious if you paid $450 for those DVDs. Ouch!
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - cali4ya858 - 10-13-2015 9:07 PM
its not "PUA", its about being natural and be real. There are hidden psychological things and subtleties in conversations that people aren't aware of and its the best one I've ever seen. I got it from a friend also.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - jb20 - 10-14-2015 11:23 AM
(10-13-2015 8:30 PM)Futureman Wrote: Good list. While the PUA stuff doesn't appeal to me, I'm curious if you paid $450 for those DVDs. Ouch!
48 laws of power is a great book.You can find most of them online for free.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - Futureman - 10-14-2015 2:26 PM
(10-14-2015 11:23 AM)jb20 Wrote: 48 laws of power is a great book.You can find most of them online for free.
This book gets quite a few nods. I'll add it to the list along with the Carnegie book and Terry Cole-Whittaker's What You Think of Me is None of My Business (the latter being for general confidence and combating anxiety). Books on making "instant connections" and "not running out of things to say" are certainly a good idea, but I can't separate the wheat from the chaff. There are too many from unknown authors.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - jb20 - 10-14-2015 2:42 PM
(10-14-2015 2:26 PM)Futureman Wrote: This book gets quite a few nods. I'll add it to the list along with the Carnegie book and Terry Cole-Whittaker's What You Think of Me is None of My Business (the latter being for general confidence and combating anxiety). Books on making "instant connections" and "not running out of things to say" are certainly a good idea, but I can't separate the wheat from the chaff. There are too many from unknown authors.
Never heard of it.I send you few useful links.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - Futureman - 10-14-2015 2:47 PM
Thanks.
I learned of the Whitaker book from our own kimosabe.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 12-29-2015 6:59 PM
Futureman, if you are still looking, try Influence by Robert Cialdini
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - cali4ya858 - 12-29-2015 8:46 PM
If you understand the dynamics of power, social skills come naturally. I have downloaded terabytes of material on material like this and now I'm starting to study politics and economics.
If you understand how economics works, you can understand what people like, behaviors, (the two driving forces of the market is fear and greed and that can apply to social skills in general also). You can understand target audience when selling and you can also understand target audience when talking to people (knowing what to say to the right people).
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - DarkLord1 - 12-29-2015 8:47 PM
Persuasion Skills Black Book: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want
Rintu Basu
I read and really like Rintu's book...Teaches simple patterns to try and see results right away. I have tried a few NLP programs and I like his approach.
Bought his advanced program and am going through that now...It's slower than I thought it would be (weekly emails) based on the stuff from the book. He goes too theoretical in the course, but again, the book was very good.
As an example, he teaches an agreement frame which goes like this....
I agree with x and would add y...."Y" is your point that you attached to something that you agree with the person you are talking too. Simple, but powerful.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 12-30-2015 5:10 PM
(12-29-2015 8:47 PM)DarkLord1 Wrote: Persuasion Skills Black Book: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want
Rintu Basu
I read and really like Rintu's book...Teaches simple patterns to try and see results right away. I have tried a few NLP programs and I like his approach.
Bought his advanced program and am going through that now...It's slower than I thought it would be (weekly emails) based on the stuff from the book. He goes too theoretical in the course, but again, the book was very good.
As an example, he teaches an agreement frame which goes like this....
I agree with x and would add y...."Y" is your point that you attached to something that you agree with the person you are talking too. Simple, but powerful.
That is a good one DarkLord. I have Rintu’s Black Book as well. Was thinking about getting more of his material.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 12-30-2015 5:14 PM
(12-29-2015 8:46 PM)cali4ya858 Wrote: If you understand how economics works, you can understand what people like, behaviors, (the two driving forces of the market is fear and greed and that can apply to social skills in general also). You can understand target audience when selling and you can also understand target audience when talking to people (knowing what to say to the right people).
Cali, I agree that fear and greed are powerful when it comes to selling and influence.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - MMM - 12-30-2015 6:30 PM
(12-29-2015 8:47 PM)DarkLord1 Wrote: Persuasion Skills Black Book: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want
Rintu Basu
Just ordered it with hopes that a light will come on. NLP has just been way over my head. Digging a little deeper. *fingers crossed*
Thanks, Lord!
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - DarkLord1 - 12-30-2015 7:14 PM
(12-30-2015 5:10 PM)JPATTRACT Wrote: That is a good one DarkLord. I have Rintu’s Black Book as well. Was thinking about getting more of his material.
I'm on week 4 of his advanced course...Again, its a little slower than the book because he is in theory mode, but I'm still hopeful because the book was so good.
It's a 6 month program. He took some of his embedded command stuff (which he acknowledges) from Ross Jeffries. Weasel words I think he calls them...
(12-30-2015 6:30 PM)MMM Wrote: Just ordered it with hopes that a light will come on. NLP has just been way over my head. Digging a little deeper. *fingers crossed*
Thanks, Lord!
Good luck with it...I got it on my tablet...It's a very fast read and the first two chapters are my favorite. Give it 5 minutes a day. The first two chapter techniques I like to call a mini-jedi mind trick.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 01-01-2016 6:38 PM
[QUOTE='DarkLord1' pid='170516' dateline='1451524462']
I'm on week 4 of his advanced course...Again, its a little slower than the book because he is in theory mode, but I'm still hopeful because the book was so good.
It's a 6 month program. He took some of his embedded command stuff (which he acknowledges) from Ross Jeffries. Weasel words I think he calls them...
[QUOTE='MMM' pid='170511' dateline='1451521832']
I was considering that advanced course as well.....seems promising based on what I got from the Black Book. How do you like it so far?
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 01-01-2016 6:44 PM
(12-30-2015 6:30 PM)MMM Wrote: Just ordered it with hopes that a light will come on. NLP has just been way over my head. Digging a little deeper. *fingers crossed*
Thanks, Lord!
NLP is a difficult topic. I have found that other instructors and programs just throw everything at you and it can be a bit overwhelming. Rintu has a way of simplifying the material.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - MMM - 01-01-2016 6:59 PM
(01-01-2016 6:44 PM)JPATTRACT Wrote: NLP is a difficult topic. I have found that other instructors and programs just throw everything at you and it can be a bit overwhelming. Rintu has a way of simplifying the material.
That's what I'm HOPING! I've given up on trying to learn what NLP was all about when it comes to seduction too many times! Just want to see what all the fuss was all about.
To be continued ...
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - DarkLord1 - 01-02-2016 10:06 AM
(01-01-2016 6:38 PM)JPATTRACT Wrote: [QUOTE='DarkLord1' pid='170516' dateline='1451524462']
I'm on week 4 of his advanced course...Again, its a little slower than the book because he is in theory mode, but I'm still hopeful because the book was so good.
It's a 6 month program. He took some of his embedded command stuff (which he acknowledges) from Ross Jeffries. Weasel words I think he calls them...
[QUOTE='MMM' pid='170511' dateline='1451521832']
I was considering that advanced course as well.....seems promising based on what I got from the Black Book. How do you like it so far?
Jury is still out...I'm only on week 5. It's not as fast, so far, as the book...so I don't feel strongly enough to recommend it yet. Still testing.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - DarkLord1 - 01-04-2016 5:51 PM
(01-02-2016 10:06 AM)DarkLord1 Wrote: Jury is still out...I'm only on week 5. It's not as fast, so far, as the book...so I don't feel strongly enough to recommend it yet. Still testing.
Now I'm ready to endorse the course...I had a free private session where he helped me work on something specific to my sales job. This is the fourth NLP course that I have tried and I finally really like one.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 01-06-2016 10:16 PM
(01-04-2016 5:51 PM)DarkLord1 Wrote: Now I'm ready to endorse the course...I had a free private session where he helped me work on something specific to my sales job. This is the fourth NLP course that I have tried and I finally really like one.
That’s good to hear because I will probably take the plunge with the 6 month course. I’m in sales as well and have pulled some good ideas out of his Black Book. Was the private session included or was that additional?
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - DarkLord1 - 01-07-2016 7:27 PM
(01-06-2016 10:16 PM)JPATTRACT Wrote: That’s good to hear because I will probably take the plunge with the 6 month course. I’m in sales as well and have pulled some good ideas out of his Black Book. Was the private session included or was that additional?
Private session was because I bought another product from him. It's starting to pick up and most importantly come together....After trying a few techniques as he suggested, I'm starting to throw in a few patterns naturally...I've never done that before with the other programs that I've tried.
I probably use the agreement pattern most of all...Since you are in sales too...using it with an objection is starting to work...pushing people to the next level. Using spatial anchors every day, etc.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - JPATTRACT - 01-08-2016 12:10 PM
(01-07-2016 7:27 PM)DarkLord1 Wrote: Private session was because I bought another product from him. It's starting to pick up and most importantly come together....After trying a few techniques as he suggested, I'm starting to throw in a few patterns naturally...I've never done that before with the other programs that I've tried.
I probably use the agreement pattern most of all...Since you are in sales too...using it with an objection is starting to work...pushing people to the next level. Using spatial anchors every day, etc.
I need to get to the point where everything comes natural. Other courses present a lot of material and theory but don’t deliver on the practical application. I like Rintu’s style and have gravitated to the agreement frame and the redefine. I need to get better at anchors would like to figure out a good way to apply future pacing.
I’ll probably pick up a few more products from him. Thanks for the input.
RE: Books on social skills, presence, influence, charisma, etc. - TurtlePowers - 09-20-2016 2:57 PM
The only book you need is mate by dr. Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max