Guys apologies for double post... But I've realised something really important. In my original post I mentioned that I don't think day game is a worthwhile time investment, however I think it was coming from the wrong place.

In the past I did "day game" for 6 months, putting in more than 4+ hours a day and doing maybe 1 or 2 approaches per session. The reason the output was so bad was I had a very bad case of approach anxiety.

So I shouldn't say day game is not a worthwhile time investment. I'd say wasting time like I did was. I think my major issue is approach anxiety and I shouldn't run away from it. I've had success from cold approaching women albeit limited and my biggest issue is approach anxiety.

So I am thinking of looking into self hypnosis or something along those lines to overcome it. I plan on doing approaches here and there and no more than 1 hour walking around.

I have also been meditating fairly regurarly but I need to take it more seriously.

Any thoughts on this guys?

Kind regards,

BrownFish

Day game, Night Game, Club Game, insert-locale-here game, it doesn't matter. Just remember your ABC's: Always Be C-ducing.

Each and every encounter is a possible seduction, or at least practice for the ladies that you really want to seduce (in the event you're not interested in that particular lady in the moment...or she doesn't make your cut). Conscientiously going out to approach ladies (such as Day-Game) puts the focus on getting results, rather than putting the focus on her and enjoying the moment (in my opinion). The entire world is your playground, play games all the time, and in every place.

As far as approach anxiety goes, you're not the only one that suffers from that particular self-imposed hurdle. Once one realizes how illogical it is, they typically start to overcome this hindrance.

i would agree approach anxiety is your enemy your scared to approach anyone no phero will really help

Yeah approach anxiety is bad. I can't approach strangers. My girl should be to approach anyone I'm attracted to, and not just going out just to approach, although I don't see a way out of approach anxiety if I don't initially allocate time there.

I wouldn't say approach anxiety doesn't make sense. Approach anxiety is a deeply rooted evolutionary response IMO. But that doesn't mean it should define me and it shouldn't be overcome

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(02-10-2020 2:04 PM)BrownFish Wrote:  My girl (GOAL?)should be to approach anyone I'm attracted to, and not just going out just to approach, although I don't see a way out of approach anxiety if I don't initially allocate time there.

Well, He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying, according to Fred. The problem with attempting to allocate time in order to overcome any phobia or aversion is that we will always fool ourselves into finding some reason as to why we cannot, why it won't work anyway, and end up being in a worse state than when we started thinking along the lines of improvement. (OK, well maybe not all of us, I'm guilty of this, however).

I'd suggest being all what About Bob over it and taking things in baby steps. First just walk up to random women all of the time, and ask them something silly. Ask them if they thought the last joke they heard was funny, ask them what their favorite color happens to be, ask them what the last movie they watched was.

If they shoot you what I call the "are you from Mars" look, or ask why you just strolled up to them like that with something random, tell them the truth. Say, "I have extreme approach anxiety regarding beautiful women and I made myself come up to you and ask that to help myself get over it."

Then, thank her for helping you improve yourself, smile at her and walk away...comment on her answer if you feel like it. You do this enough, I promise you, two things will happen. You'll have your first steps of approaching dealt with, and sooner or later you'll find a woman that thinks that what you just said is cool and amazing and you'll get laid.

---

Edited to add:
The above is just like my opinion, man, but that suggestion has helped other individuals begin the journey of overcoming their approach anxiety and improving their own lives. You may feel free to try this, disregard this, or tell me (and Nietzsche) to take a hike.

So... much... yes... *wipes away tear*

(02-10-2020 2:48 PM)Gladen Wrote:  Well, He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying, according to Fred. The problem with attempting to allocate time in order to overcome any phobia or aversion is that we will always fool ourselves into finding some reason as to why we cannot, why it won't work anyway, and end up being in a worse state than when we started thinking along the lines of improvement. (OK, well maybe not all of us, I'm guilty of this, however).

I'd suggest being all what About Bob over it and taking things in baby steps. First just walk up to random women all of the time, and ask them something silly. Ask them if they thought the last joke they heard was funny, ask them what their favorite color happens to be, ask them what the last movie they watched was.

If they shoot you what I call the "are you from Mars" look, or ask why you just strolled up to them like that with something random, tell them the truth. Say, "I have extreme approach anxiety regarding beautiful women and I made myself come up to you and ask that to help myself get over it."

Then, thank her for helping you improve yourself, smile at her and walk away...comment on her answer if you feel like it. You do this enough, I promise you, two things will happen. You'll have your first steps of approaching dealt with, and sooner or later you'll find a woman that thinks that what you just said is cool and amazing and you'll get laid.

---

Edited to add:
The above is just like my opinion, man, but that suggestion has helped other individuals begin the journey of overcoming their approach anxiety and improving their own lives. You may feel free to try this, disregard this, or tell me (and Nietzsche) to take a hike.

Day game approach anxiety...

Here's how you can get over it. Train yourself to be in a mood to talk to strangers right from the get-go. If you wear a watch, take it off, if you carry a phone turn it off and put it away. Then go up to the first 10 people you see, preferably girls, and ask them for the time of for directions. Pretend you're lost, or that you don't have a phone to tell you the time. Once they answer you, thank them and walk on. Once you've done this about 10 times, your mind should be in a space to talk to any stranger you see. The idea here is not to pick them up, but to get over your fear of approaching strangers during the day. You'll be in the space in your head where you can cold approach during the day without being in your head wondering what everyone else around you thinks of you.

Once you do enough warm ups to get you into that headspace, you're good to go..

(02-10-2020 2:48 PM)Gladen Wrote:  Well, He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying, according to Fred. The problem with attempting to allocate time in order to overcome any phobia or aversion is that we will always fool ourselves into finding some reason as to why we cannot, why it won't work anyway, and end up being in a worse state than when we started thinking along the lines of improvement. (OK, well maybe not all of us, I'm guilty of this, however).

I'd suggest being all what About Bob over it and taking things in baby steps. First just walk up to random women all of the time, and ask them something silly. Ask them if they thought the last joke they heard was funny, ask them what their favorite color happens to be, ask them what the last movie they watched was.

If they shoot you what I call the "are you from Mars" look, or ask why you just strolled up to them like that with something random, tell them the truth. Say, "I have extreme approach anxiety regarding beautiful women and I made myself come up to you and ask that to help myself get over it."

Then, thank her for helping you improve yourself, smile at her and walk away...comment on her answer if you feel like it. You do this enough, I promise you, two things will happen. You'll have your first steps of approaching dealt with, and sooner or later you'll find a woman that thinks that what you just said is cool and amazing and you'll get laid.

---

Edited to add:
The above is just like my opinion, man, but that suggestion has helped other individuals begin the journey of overcoming their approach anxiety and improving their own lives. You may feel free to try this, disregard this, or tell me (and Nietzsche) to take a hike.

AGREED!

Branching off of that, I would say make all your first approaches without the intention for sex. Make them only about general questions, toss in a few jokes, and wish them a good. Get used to the approach and beginning a conversation. Also, go into every approach with the idea to find out the female's eye color. It helps you focus on her and to get used to looking women head on. Don't stare her down, but make eye contact. If she talks, make sure your eyes are always on her. She will feel like what she said is important and valued.

Other items to help yourself are to walk taller, have a bit of "pep" or sway in your step, and SMILE!! You will look and feel more confident, even if life isn't going well. Though, when I say smile, I mean a real smile. Look up real vs fake smiles -- pay attention to the cheeks and eyes.

By no means am I a PUA -- and in many respects I too am still growing confidence and shedding my old self -- so my advice is more what has worked for me and the advice I have given to men better than I! What (quality) women look for isn't primarily about looks, but instead, personality and self confidence. Just like pheromones, working out will improve your chances of attracting women, but how you run the conversation and hold yourself is what will win them over.

As Glaiden said, feel free to be open about your insecurities a little. If you get red in the face, stutter, or have nothing to add, don't feel bad for it as it is a learning curve. Plus, some women just aren't good talkers, and that may be on them. The other day I was out with someone who took a bit of time before she opened up. Yes...at first there was little feedback and some awkward points, but I came to find out (more so by her body language but later by telling me) it was because she was in fact shy around me.

One last thing I will add is remember that you are the prize. The woman is a prize too, but you are there to show her why YOU are THE prize. If you can succeed in showing her how amazing you are without changing yourself and being content with yourself or the direction your life is going, you chances to succeed will increase. Don't be cocky about it, but do show that you are a man of worth.

Also, rep Glaiden's post. That was some golden advice right there.

(02-10-2020 6:17 PM)Benkigo Wrote:  Day game approach anxiety...

Here's how you can get over it. Train yourself to be in a mood to talk to strangers right from the get-go. If you wear a watch, take it off, if you carry a phone turn it off and put it away. Then go up to the first 10 people you see, preferably girls, and ask them for the time of for directions. Pretend you're lost, or that you don't have a phone to tell you the time. Once they answer you, thank them and walk on. Once you've done this about 10 times, your mind should be in a space to talk to any stranger you see. The idea here is not to pick them up, but to get over your fear of approaching strangers during the day. You'll be in the space in your head where you can cold approach during the day without being in your head wondering what everyone else around you thinks of you.

Once you do enough warm ups to get you into that headspace, you're good to go..

To add: if the girl gives you a look or says how you are being cheesy, just tell them with an inquisitive look "No, I just want to know the time because my phone died and I was supposed to meet someone here." After they give you the time, smile and wish them a good day! Once you start to get good, do the same thing except change it up a little and say "No, my phone died and I do need to know the time. I can't help you were the first person I saw and also beautiful!" Then, reassure them you want the time, get the time, smile, and wish them a good day. If they say they don't have the time, pry and play a bit, but then politely move on. This will help you handle future rejection while in the moment.

Other items can be: asking where a store is in a mall, waiting in a food/drink line and asking what is a good item to order, or if you are ready for some advancement and some fun then take a clipboard around and say you are doing surveys for a school/work project to find out the color of women's lingerie (or some other semi-sexual question). Just remember that the goals in these exercises are not to get the women, but learning to be better at approaching and opening women. After the question and answer that you should try to pry/play for, smile and wish them a good day.


EDIT; IF and ONLY IF a woman turns around to say "wait, that's all you wanted?", you then in turn should smile and say "That is all I needed, BUT if I were to find an attractive woman such as yourself along then way then I would be amiss to turn down the possibility of a date on ((insert day here))!" It is important that you choose a day and also hold the smile throughout.

Notice I say smile a lot. Smiling will exude self-confidence and positivity. I would say that in time when your self-confidence and approach/opening is good, feel feel to try moving onto a smirk if that fits your personality better after you have exhausted your exercises with smiling. It is a bit more mysterious and playful, but it is much harder to pull off properly.

Desensitization by repetition is generally proven to be the answer to this problem. You've been given a lot of good advice here.
If you hear something like "wait, that's all you wanted?" that's your cue to ask for a phone number. You won't always get it, but you won't always get rejected either.
Call or text it immediately, if it doesn't ring in her hand you know what's up. That's your way of getting your number in her phone as well.

Approach guys too. Network and get numbers. Some guys are really good at helping you get laid, you never know who you might meet.
Lastly, rejection keeps you out of the friendzone. It's not a bad thing if you don't want to be her friend anyway.