Thank you guys so much I'll see what I can do. Will definitely keep you guys posted. Thanks a lot for the support I truly appreciate it

This is quite depressing...I spent another day just walking around not being able to do any approaches. Then I went back home and masturbated and now I feel real crappy.


sigh. am I really gonna figure this out ever? There was a time where I was called "balls of steel" for doing the most balsy approaches. The only variable then was that I was with "wings" and wanted to show off I guess. I've never been able to actually cold approach alone except a few occasions. I feel very disheartened. I've cut off all my friends and I'm grateful for that, however now I feel real crappy.

(02-14-2020 5:09 PM)BrownFish Wrote:  This is quite depressing...I spent another day just walking around not being able to do any approaches. Then I went back home and masturbated and now I feel real crappy.


sigh. am I really gonna figure this out ever? There was a time where I was called "balls of steel" for doing the most balsy approaches. The only variable then was that I was with "wings" and wanted to show off I guess. I've never been able to actually cold approach alone except a few occasions. I feel very disheartened. I've cut off all my friends and I'm grateful for that, however now I feel real crappy.

Look at it this way: If you do not approach ever, at all, you get ZERO results. If you do approach and get shot down, you might still get ZERO results, but you'll learn what not to do. On the other hand if you do approach and get at least SOME results, you're way ahead.

Only approaching will advance your knowledge and skills of how to approach or net you any results. the only true hopelessness is in not doing it.

Dude, I know how terrifying and/ or difficult it can be; but you just need to work out how to not care at all about any results, go on up and just talk to her, and the rest will eventually fall into place.

I know, that doesn't help at all, but in its own fashion it is encouragement and support. Balls of Steel is still in there; unleash the fury and let them hang out and clang a bit.

(02-14-2020 5:15 PM)Gladen Wrote:  Look at it this way: If you do not approach ever, at all, you get ZERO results. If you do approach and get shot down, you might still get ZERO results, but you'll learn what not to do. On the other hand if you do approach and get at least SOME results, you're way ahead.

Only approaching will advance your knowledge and skills of how to approach or net you any results. the only true hopelessness is in not doing it.

Dude, I know how terrifying and/ or difficult it can be; but you just need to work out how to not care at all about any results, go on up and just talk to her, and the rest will eventually fall into place.

I know, that doesn't help at all, but in its own fashion it is encouragement and support. Balls of Steel is still in there; unleash the fury and let them hang out and clang a bit.

I'm being a sook...I need to get over this.

A female crab? I get the gist from context, but I'm not familiar with that particular turn of phrasing.

My biggest problem in life, other than not allowing all the naysaying Mordreds and alpholes © to pull me down to their level, is getting over myself when I impose barriers between myself and my own personal growth. It sucks, most especially since the more enlightened of us tend to be our own worst critics rather than pointed outward to revile everything else.

You'll get there if you rekindle that inner drive to do what you need to do in order to get where you want to go. We're all pulling for you, so consider us your virtual (online) wingmen that you're showing off to the next time you walk out the door. I live for the moments when guys that have a tough time with ladies can happily rub my nose in all their success.

http://pherotruth.org/Thread-Gladen-s-Grimoire?page=164

bottom of the page, two vids. take a look at those. some of these are pretty bad but you know what it got numbers in some cases

(02-14-2020 5:09 PM)BrownFish Wrote:  This is quite depressing...I spent another day just walking around not being able to do any approaches. Then I went back home and masturbated and now I feel real crappy.

sigh. am I really gonna figure this out ever? There was a time where I was called "balls of steel" for doing the most balsy approaches. The only variable then was that I was with "wings" and wanted to show off I guess. I've never been able to actually cold approach alone except a few occasions. I feel very disheartened. I've cut off all my friends and I'm grateful for that, however now I feel real crappy.

It seems as though you are trying too hard to get an instant oven ready result. And when the initiative fails, you feel a failure. Take a few steps back, this isn't a race.

Take on board the advice of Gladen, he has a natural knowledge and a rare ability to read deeply between the lines.

Also, a lot of it comes down to logistics. Put yourself directly in the locations and situations where you will be able to interact with women without getting stressed about cold approaching. Volunteer at an animal refuge, join a hiking club, whatever. 8/10 of my conquests over the past few years have been whilst walkiing my dogs. I hate nightlife, clubs and all the drama that goes with it, and so do a huge amount of available women.

Finally, buy yourself a tester of BW. Aromafero sell these. I say a tester, because BW can either be a life changer in your current situation, or it could hype you up the wrong way. If it gives you a buzz, wear it 5 days a week, day and night, with Cops.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading about some of your success stories here in the future!

If I'm allowed to jump that late in the discussion (I was offline for a while in order to get my endorphin depot filled up on the steepest snow powder slopes I could find in the Alps - skiing is second to sex only imho)

But to the topic of approach anxiety (AA) I have 3 proposals for you that helped me:

1st, do this training always when you walk around: Give eye contact (EC) to everyone passing by. To any stranger, male and female. Smile slightly, not in a way that is implying something, but in a way that you are not threatening. Watch your reaction and the reactions of the other ones. Hold that eye contact so long that is uncomfortable to you (but don't stare, 5 sec are fine, but if you have AA you most likely bail out earlier). If you break the EC do it always sidewards. Looking down is a communication of submission. Watch out for this and learn to avoid it. Learn to identify female EC (https://markmanson.net/the-levels-of-eye-contact/amp) - once you are proficient in that you see who wants to be approached. That makes things much much easier. See "warm approach"

2nd: Use any chance to start chatting with anybody. Just any non-gaming everyday comments, waitresses, shop assistants, guys and gals which whom you queues up somewhere and so on. Simply to train this muscles. I once spend a nice night with a woman which I get aquainted by chatting with her in the queue of a club. Make the starting comments easy and lightweight, so that is just small talk. Once you get better you can become more risky. This is again a training issue.

3rd, this one is a bit tricky, because it contains the usage of potentially addictive substances. For me it worked great, but you need to have a high discipline and be able to control the usage. I give some background. AA is to some extent a learned behavior. Something in the past gave you (and me) bad experiences. You (and I) need to "unlearn" the AA by having some good experiences. Once you have that new good experiences the AA is gone. The problem is that the AA itself prohibit the new good experiences, it's a circulus vitiousus. For me the following worked well: for a couple of events (read club nights) I used Phenibut and/or Mitrogynin (check if it is legal in your jurisdiction). Both substances lower the level of AA without the impairing effects of alcohol - but both are potentially addictive. By using them very controlled (max. 2 time per week) the addiction can be avoided. Maybe make a schedule that limits the total number of usages. For me it was a temporary fix only. After 5 to 10 good nights I have so many fresh good experiences that give me the "I! Can! Do! It!" attitude, I fear no more and I don't need it anymore.