So... my wife passed away a few months ago. I saw it coming and hoped it wouldn't go that way, but I knew there was a great possibility that it would. So now I'm dating for the first time in 26 years and boy does it seem things have changed. I'm on a couple of dating apps and already went on 1 date, got to 1st base at least . Do you guys have any tips for me in the new dating world? Many thanks in advance.

(05-22-2017 8:56 AM)qj373 Wrote:  So... my wife passed away a few months ago. I saw it coming and hoped it wouldn't go that way, but I knew there was a great possibility that it would. So now I'm dating for the first time in 26 years and boy does it seem things have changed. I'm on a couple of dating apps and already went on 1 date, got to 1st base at least . Do you guys have any tips for me in the new dating world? Many thanks in advance.

Sorry for the circumstances that have led you to dive into the dating pool again.
What has always worked for me is to be a more confident version of myself. I've been described as being, 'not conventionally attractive' but that I have 'Bill Clinton's charisma' (believe it or not that was a compliment) and by being myself and being confident without cocky, I find that even without pheromones, I have had no problems attracting women's attention. Of course, the pheromones never hurt.

No tips, except for maybe to take a little time to grieve before trying to jump back out there, as well as kind of getting a grip on how much things have changed in the last couple of decades, and my deepest condolences for your loss.

(05-22-2017 8:56 AM)qj373 Wrote:  So... my wife passed away a few months ago. I saw it coming and hoped it wouldn't go that way, but I knew there was a great possibility that it would. So now I'm dating for the first time in 26 years and boy does it seem things have changed. I'm on a couple of dating apps and already went on 1 date, got to 1st base at least . Do you guys have any tips for me in the new dating world? Many thanks in advance.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Through my own experience, don't rush yourself. Before you enter another relationship, you need to get back on your feet. Some days and weeks, you might feel like the pain has softened. But it will come and go in waves, the intensity of each wave diminishing over the months and years .
I would recommend rebuilding your social circle first. There are some great social products which will help your self confidence in doing this. (Wolf, Ascend, Celebrity, etc). You'll find that with regular support of friends, that the urgency to date or find a partner will become less.

Knock some boots bro...

Sorry for your loss.

Don't know if this article applies but it is interesting: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/19...94403.html

(05-22-2017 10:05 PM)Dblr619 Wrote:  Knock some boots bro...

This seriously made me laugh. Thanks man.

(05-24-2017 8:14 AM)qj373 Wrote:  This seriously made me laugh. Thanks man.

Life is hard and full of pain
Buy a helmet and an athletic cup and drive on troop.
Really sorry for your loss BUT let's not discount your mission accomplished.
You stood by your woman for TWENTY FIVE + years all the way bro.
"....till death do us part."
Good on ya.
No bullshit though.....
Lay some pipe to multiple women but stay out of any relationship.
You're still a badass virile man with needs.
You are also a heart broke widow.
Address both.
Best and kindest wishes to ya man.

P.S.
FWIW......
I have an uncle that was widowed kinda early too and he SWORE it was like cat nip to women.
His heart belonged to his dearly departed for a long time after, but was drowning in tail.....

(05-24-2017 10:57 AM)Dblr619 Wrote:  No bullshit though.....
Lay some pipe to multiple women but stay out of any relationship.
You're still a badass virile man with needs.

That there is the best piece of advice you can get. Firstly take some time to grieve and then go out there and meet as many women as possible. Build up your confidence and you'll have more women than you'll know what to do with.

Best of luck to you!

Thanks everyone for the advice. By way of update, I've been working out 6 mornings a week since mid March and am making good progress in weight loss/physique, but really the biggest benefit for me from working out has been that it is helping me to process my grief and keep my sanity. The grief never really goes away, but over time there will be fewer massive waves of it. Working out gives me that time of physical exertion and clarity of mind/emotions. There are a lot of other unhealthier things that I could be doing. I have seen those dealing with great loss self medicate through alcohol/drugs who are now dealing with alcoholism, DUI and more. I've had dates with a couple of girls off of tinder. One who I have "knocked boots" with, but she really doesn't seem to realize that she's not very good in bed. She doesn't really orgasm, she just gets wet. Also, she talks about herself and her ex husband an awful lot and doesn't show a whole lot of emotion when we're talking or even in bed (dead fish). Make out sessions are pretty good aside from the aforementioned lack of emotion. Also, she will kiss with her eyes open sometimes which kind of freaks me out. The other one is a Mormon, sci fi geek. Not much has gone on there as of yet. There have been hugs and I've wrapped my arm around her. I'll see how that goes on down the road. We've been on 2 dates so far.