(04-04-2012 7:11 PM)halo0073 Wrote:  It's also cute to me that some of you think the guy has all the power and the woman just follows your flow. I can't speak for all women, but with me it's a dance. I just might be pulling all the strings and letting you think you're in control. I think most women are skilled in this art, some just better than others.

The guy has no power...
The girl has no power...
The heart has ALL the power!

I like how you explained it as a dance. Sometimes the woman takes the lead...Sometimes the man takes the lead. You are exactly right.

i took some time to think about it, and my belief is that guys fall into the friend zone not so much because of what they do, but who they are.

i think girls are looking for a man, not a boy, or another girlfriend. and becoming a man really starts from within, which will invariably permeate outwards to your actions. a boy pretending to be a man will eventually be revealed... as a boy.

i don't think there are hard and fast rules of how one should interact with the ladies - if you are truly a man from within, then your interactions will show that, and the ladies will always be attracted to your masculinity, even those who are merely your friends.

case in point - my friend is considered the nicest guy around, but all the ladies are attracted to him. in fact, they consider him the 'ideal' guy. why? because his niceness is genuine, out of a position of confidence and security, not neediness. he loves talking to people, and shows lots of care and concern, but there is masculinity in him that is there, you just know it.

i grew up with sisters, so i am used to all the "heart-to-heart" talks, baking and other supposedly more effeminate stuff. when i started wearing MAP, i found myself finding these things too girly, and preferred my sharing to be more to the point. i also started to favor joking, making fun of people/things, and being light-hearted, rather than the deeper, emotional talks.

someone on this forum (or the other) loves the friend zone, and i quote verbatim:

Quote:Hell I love the friend zone. In fact most of my friends are women. Ultimately the key to her seeing you both as a man and as a friend is your underlying attitude and outward persona: be manly, confident, a wee bit mysterious and maintain a subtle hint of sexual tension. If you overdo it, you'll hose the friendship. If you nail it, she'll fantasize about you at night and think of you as a "man in waiting." So if the timing is right, you may become more than friends. The main problem with said approach is often she slowly falls in love with you and it screws up the friendship if you don't feel the same way (you merely wanna tease her or fool around). My best lovers have been friends and I don't like I start a relationship any other way.

i have a hunch that if you're a true man within, you can be very friendly with the ladies... and still never fall into the friend zone.

I am the sociable and normally well spoken type who genuinely likes people, I have gotten this a few times over the years.
Including the "Surprise! I have a penis" response, even when it was obvious that i liked a person for some time.
The "awkward" normally happen when a guy is in a situation (like work) where he feels it is not appropriate to make it known or make a "move". Men being logical and analytical are often in this headspace. Me too.

One of my experiences:
We meet at work related activity, get along great.
See her few times more, work related both feel connection, deep convo, kino hugs & kisses. We both seem to feel awkward about the work relation.
The kiss goodbye goes from cheek to lips.
We meet up at hers for dinner, more connection, deep convo, future plans, kino etc kiss on the cheek, neck massage, kiss on the neck just after she says "I like you" and then....
I just dont see you that way, I never knew you... I just didnt notice as she gets up and moves a few meters away, translation = OMG you have a penis! Your really just horny a guy with a penis!?
"Do you normally kiss on the lips guys that are just friends?"
Nothing, I dont feel anything for you.
You dont like me anymore? jokingly
I am not interested in anyone
Just take it as a compliment
I then did not get a shit test, but all the reasons why I am an asshole, kinda like when you breakup with a gf.
I get my keys phone and she says "You dont have to leave, your like a real close friend"
Of course after a week she has a bf, nothing new, but what happened is she then had a bitchy attitude as if she thought she had some sort of power over me. If I was cocky or disagreed she would hint or outright say it was because she "rejected" me.
I was a little down about it, but after a few days i moved on.
All the while she kept jabbing me with "I hope you dont go weird on me" type phrases in work related meetings.
She was used to being chased by friend zoned guys and got upset every time i ignored her innuendos.
The things a guy has to deal with...
I would hate to be young and inexperienced and meet that type of chick, I dont wonder why guys may shy away from showing interest.


I agree with Halo, many women just wont admit to it though.
Its "sexable or not" followed by "now or maybe someday" imo.

(04-05-2012 1:02 AM)kentdave Wrote:  my friend is considered the nicest guy around, but all the ladies are attracted to him. in fact, they consider him the 'ideal' guy. why? because his niceness is genuine, out of a position of confidence and security, not neediness. he loves talking to people, and shows lots of care and concern, but there is masculinity in him that is there, you just know it.

How many of them have had sex with him?

(04-05-2012 2:08 AM)Pheroman Wrote:  How many of them have had sex with him?

Now that's the Million Dollar question.

Just wanted to add my vote for women giving SHITTY dating advice to us and THEMSELVES! As Hitch said, "They get in their own way!"

In general, if I want more than her, I RUN! I decide to not waste my time because being with them only makes me more insecure, which WON'T better my chances.

Sometimes I DISAPPEAR.
Cell phone - blocked!
IM - blocked!
Emails - ignored!

Funny and ANNOYING when THAT sparks their interest. Part of me may be still interested, but I boycott girls who are intrigued by the challenge.

(04-06-2012 11:30 AM)badyoda Wrote:  Just wanted to add my vote for women giving SHITTY dating advice to us and THEMSELVES! As Hitch said, "They get in their own way!"

In general, if I want more than her, I RUN! I decide to not waste my time because being with them only makes me more insecure, which WON'T better my chances.

Sometimes I DISAPPEAR.
Cell phone - blocked!
IM - blocked!
Emails - ignored!

Funny and ANNOYING when THAT sparks their interest. Part of me may be still interested, but I boycott girls who are intrigued by the challenge.

If you are getting shitty advice you are hanging with the wrong women. I can't tell you how many hook ups I have made happen for male friends. And female friends too now that I think about it. But like as3 said, I am a little like a guy. The biggest difference between how guys and girls think is easily seen in the beginning stages of a relationship. If the guy is acting shady all the women will make excuses for him...maybe he's tired, that's why he didn't call, maybe he's intimidated by you, bla bla bla. A guy will straight up tell you, dude he's not interested. A lot of time it's somewhere in the middle. And I am a girl who likes a challenge but I would NEVER pursue someone who blocked me. Fuck that. You are talking about crazy bitches.

(04-06-2012 12:03 PM)halo0073 Wrote:  I can't tell you how many hook ups I have made happen for male friends.

Your my best friend!

PS I posted that question because I was and still am for many that exact person.
So I am very interested in the answer cause i know my answer

1. To be fair, they just seemed more interested than before, but their pursuit didnt go too far.
2. They dont necessarily know they are blocked. I'm just suddenly NEVER on IM and when THEY call, it sounds like the phone company's message saying my line is no longer in service...LITERALLY...It's called Google Voice.
   

(04-06-2012 12:03 PM)halo0073 Wrote:  If you are getting shitty advice you are hanging with the wrong women. I can't tell you how many hook ups I have made happen for male friends. And female friends too now that I think about it. But like as3 said, I am a little like a guy. The biggest difference between how guys and girls think is easily seen in the beginning stages of a relationship. If the guy is acting shady all the women will make excuses for him...maybe he's tired, that's why he didn't call, maybe he's intimidated by you, bla bla bla. A guy will straight up tell you, dude he's not interested. A lot of time it's somewhere in the middle. And I am a girl who likes a challenge but I would NEVER pursue someone who blocked me. Fuck that. You are talking about crazy bitches.

(04-06-2012 11:30 AM)badyoda Wrote:  Just wanted to add my vote for women giving SHITTY dating advice to us and THEMSELVES! As Hitch said, "They get in their own way!"

In general, if I want more than her, I RUN! I decide to not waste my time because being with them only makes me more insecure, which WON'T better my chances.

Sometimes I DISAPPEAR.
Cell phone - blocked!
IM - blocked!
Emails - ignored!

Funny and ANNOYING when THAT sparks their interest. Part of me may be still interested, but I boycott girls who are intrigued by the challenge.

I have done this also. I use to be the wake up call for a girl I liked. I was her best friend with a penis. She wasn't ready to be in a relationship she told me. She was a master at leading me on thinking I had a chance.

One day I was at a friend's house. A early 30's trust fund baby. He is telling me about all the chicks he is fucking and decides to show me the hottest one.

Guess who it was? the girl I was talking to. She was gaming me the whole time. Every time she said she was out of town she was with this fucking ass hole friend of mine getting video tapped fucking porn style without her knowledge. Then she pretended to be Ms. Virtuous woman around me.

I told my friend about what she was doing to me and he gave me the recording. I posted that shit online and linked it to all our friends.

She disappeared after that.

Since her I have refused to be friends with women who I wanted to be with but who didn't want to be with me. It can destroy a man.