Ladies, I need help decifering a woman's body language. We are coworkers and have known each other for about a year.

I have recently fallen for her, but it all started with her body language. She first gave me a very seductive stare with her head tilted. Then I noticed she was staring at me across the room. A couple of times I just stared back and we locked eyes for about 20 seconds before she looked away. She then began over the course of the next 3 days to touch my hand or arm at different times.

Then a day or so later she told me that she wanted to get a divorce from her husband and no longer wished to be married. She said that she was not happy at home and tried to avoid being there as much as possible.

Several of us went out as a group the other night. She also gave me a stare or two then, and also ran her hands through her slowly a couple different times. That night I decided to send her signals back, such as leaning in to talk to her, touching her back and gave her a hug or two during the night. She also returned the touching, nothing sexual just embracing the hug.

As the night wore on we went to a bar. I sat on the stool beside her and had my knee against her ass, and she didn't seem to mind. We left there and went to another place. I rode with her there. When we got there, I asked her what my chances were with her. She said it was not going to happen, but I was a nice guy. I was of course devestated.

My question is why would she throw all of those signals, then when I asked her, she rejects me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

All of this happened over a 2 week period, but the big increase in body language happened when I started wearing Alfa Maschio around her.

I don't give up that easily and plan on asking her what she meant by it wasn't going to happen. If that meant that night or ever. I would normally just get over it, but I really like her.

Thanks for reading my long post.

(09-14-2012 9:29 PM)bluep51 Wrote:  When we got there, I asked her what my chances were with her. She said it was not going to happen, but I was a nice guy. I was of course devestated.

Im not a lady but Im going to put my .02 in anyway. In bold is where you messed up. Validation seeking and girls hate that. Alot.

(09-14-2012 9:29 PM)bluep51 Wrote:  Then a day or so later she told me that she wanted to get a divorce from her husband and no longer wished to be married. She said that she was not happy at home and tried to avoid being there as much as possible.

You recently fell for a married chick? Nothing good can come of this. Shes playing with you bro. Cut your losses and move on.

(09-14-2012 9:43 PM)thundr Wrote:  Im not a lady but Im going to put my .02 in anyway. In bold is where you messed up. Validation seeking and girls hate that. Alot.

(09-14-2012 9:29 PM)bluep51 Wrote:  Then a day or so later she told me that she wanted to get a divorce from her husband and no longer wished to be married. She said that she was not happy at home and tried to avoid being there as much as possible.

You recently fell for a married chick? Nothing good can come of this. Shes playing with you bro. Cut your losses and move on.

ditto this. nothing good comes from a married woman. they will break your heart like no other.

AM gave out an alpha signal, that probably made her into you. You acted too beta around her. You probably were too easy when you sent back the signals. Push pull is the key. Show her some interest, take it away, give some more back, take it away, etc... If you just simply show complete interest and start chasing, you're boring and she'll lose interest in you.

Asking her what your chances with her is a seriously bad move.
Mistake#1, don't ask, tell her: It's better that she doesn't have to think. Instead of asking her "do i have a chance with you", you're better off telling her "come on a date with me this saturday" or "lets get some coffee together blah blah blah"
These days, when I want a # from a girl. I ask her "what's your number?", and I usually get it. As opposed to "can i have your number?". Don't create an extra opportunity for her to think "do i want to give this guy my #", make her create that opportunity.

Mistake#2 asking her what your chances are gives her higher value than you. Essentially you're telling her that she's the judge and in control. Instead, you should just tell her to go somewhere with you. Give off the impression that you can have any choice of woman you want, and that she's lucky to get your attention.


NO, DO NOT ASK HER WHAT SHE MEANT BY IT WASN"T GOING TO HAPPEN!!! Once again, that tells her you're needy, weak, and that she's in control. You may have already done irreparable damage. If you're gonna go for it anyway, just try and arrange a meetup. Like coffee or dinner or something.

Btw, her telling you you're a nice guy generally means you're friend zoned or have no chance in some other way. (I got hit by the same thing before, and never again!)

I think you are absolutely right, I was picked up as an alpha but acted like a beta.

Dont let it phase you, smile, tell her you had fun. You did, just crashed at the end. No biggie. Shes prob using you, but no reason you cant have fun and work on your game. Just dont flirt anymore, if she flirts just smile and keep working:. Maybe even chuckle or wink if you want too mess with her head. Just never take it seriously, go out and have fun but be weary its more trouble than its worth.

Be fun if you can make her your wingman. She wants to get out and have fun, friend zone her and her help you find women. Win/win.

Ditto what the other guys have said, there are so many other women in the world that you can have, who aren' t married and who won't play games with you...

IMO, take it as a learning point and move on, help it decide what you will and will not accept as good and bad behaviour in a woman!

If a women gives you such strong signals then you will very likely be on her list

Play things down .. and wait what will come the way from her ...

otherwise you will end up betaized in this Game !

Pago

Well it seems to me she's into those of dominant type of men who display power in which you proved her wrong in. Thus killing off the initial attraction she had for you.

Think of it as Cats Play. Dangle a string just out of reach of a cats paws and that cat will give chase doing everything in its power to get that string. Then, when the prize has been won and the cat has the string in its grasp, it will quickly lose interest.
Although that doesn't mean you should go get a string and start waving it around the woman

Trial and error my friend That's how we learn.

Also "congruence" is the key to using pheromones.

(09-14-2012 9:29 PM)bluep51 Wrote:  My question is why would she throw all of those signals, then when I asked her, she rejects me. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Lots of good advice here and I think it holds. Another thing to consider; You're taking this too serious. Don't go in with any expectations or commitments. She obviously wants attention and physical interaction but also wants some level of emotional "plausible deniability." She wants to have her cake without admitting she wanted cake because if she admits she want's cake she's a bad girl. Women can get seriously shit on for violating social norms, so they internalize them hardcore and asking for such a tangible commitment on her part completely upset the game you were playing, forcing her to make a choice that you didn't want to hear.

If she had TOLD you that you "had a chance" with her, she'd no longer be the good girl that she probably wants to think of herself as.

Also, if she did happen to do anything with you while still married, she might hunt for a way to deny responsibility for it in one way or another. Listen carefully to the narratives that she tells. She needs to tell herself a story where she's the good girl. ... Though as others have warned, you're walking into trouble.