I've started my 7-year old boy out with scents. We go shopping and browse through the cologne and perfume section smelling things to see what we think about them and comparing notes. We sniff vegetables, fruits, herbs, and spices in the market. I'm working to give both of us a shared vocabulary and repertoire of scents as a buildup to involving him in other aspects of Alpha training and how to be a proper man. I coach him and discipline him with the explanation that he must understand how to act and why so that one day he can teach his children. The connection with your children and their understanding of your role in their lives will do more than anything to help them work through their lives. Nobody "knows" how to be the best parent possible, we all make it up everyday and constantly re-evaluate ourselves, but sharing and learning here about it will more than likely not wind up with anything to do with pheromones, and will probably be some of the best advice anyway!
You may try to introduce to your child's environment certain foods and food odors as opposed to synthetic pheromones, leaning on JV Kohl's research about the relationship of scent and epigenetics with biological effects. Scents like pumpkin, apples, and other have some effects that can be anchoring to seasons and associate pleasant memories with those seasonal foods. Foods can have powerful effect on physiology and psychology, and the likelihood of things going awry with kids and pheromones is far greater than with purposefully created aromas and meals.
Kids thrive on structure and continuity, and an understanding of logical and physical order and rules. Once they can figure a system out then they go to town working within the system and exploring the boundaries and outcomes - they are natural scientists. Randomness, inconsistency, and restrictive situations that don't allow exploration and decision-making make kids very depressed, stressed, and grouchy. I'll work out several options and allow my son to choose when situations allow. If some have catches or impacts I'll let him know so he can "figure it out" and not lead him to conclusions. It works wonders for his self-esteem and overall attitude. It really is a small thing, it just requires forethought to set it up ahead of time. And it didn't come naturally to me, I had to discipline myself to make time and space for his self-determination and reasoning skills to find positive outlets for expression.
Self-expression exercises may help him separate from mirroring his father's attitudes. If you haven't read anything about it, do some reading on Howard Gardiner's theory of Multiple Intelligences
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_m...elligences. A number of books speak to the subject and explain how each person has vary innate capacities in understanding, processing, and expressing. When my son would get really upset and shut down, I would (sometimes) try to get him to show my how he felt my talking (usually a lost cause), singing, drawing, or dancing. He would often come out of his sulk and do some wild angry jig and wind up laughing at himself, or draw a violently explosive picture. But it broke the spell and gave him an outlet for expression. Little things, working miracles for sure.
Hope some of this helps, and hope your little guy can regain some happiness!