I thought I'd start my own thread here as I'm aiming to address a specific issue using pheromones. I know long posts can be tedious, but bear with me, as I always think that the more info one has, the easier it is to provide quality feedback. I'm VERY keen to hear what other members think, especially anyone who has been in a similar situation to myself and especially from female members.

I'm 49 and have recently come out of a 25 year long relationship which had no sexual/romantic content for the last 10 years. I settled down young - just as I was finding my mojo, so I left wild oats unsowed. I was a late developer, not kissing a girl/having a girlfriend until I was 18, as I had self-esteem/peer issues. I tried using a very early pheromone spray circa 1982-84 called aeleous 7 (this may be a misspelling) and didn't find it worked for me (though my expectations may have been unrealistic).

Two and a half years ago, I fell in love with a total bunny boiler half my age, who (I wasn't aware of this at the time) has a long history of leading men on and rejecting them, repeating this and seeing how long this cycle lasts. I tried a pheromone then (no success) but I realise now that my own intense behaviour at the time counteracted any positive effect the more could have had. I made a 'rebound move' on another similarly young woman at the same time, was discreetly rebuffed but was approached by a married woman in her late 30s who told me she wanted an affair with me. I gently rebuffed this lady, as I like her husband, felt it was just a momentary aberration on her part. I don't think it was the pheromones that attracted her - she liked the way I dressed (she likes a very specific style) and told me 'you're such a nice guy, I can't go through the rest of my life only making love to my husband, even though I love him'.

All of this came to the attention of my partner of 25 years and I realised that we should have split up at that point. Out of kindness to her and my own utter despair at the way I was treated by the girl I was in love with, I stayed until two months ago, when I could take no more.

A couple of months before I split with my ex-partner, I exchanged phone numbers with a woman I'd met through work (a client) some 18 months previously -she instigated this. We started 'dating' platonically and I realised that as well as finding her VERY physically attractive, we also had lots in common. After a few 'dates', I asked her to confirm that she would be intersted in a romantic relationship with me if I was free. 'yes' she said, 'but if you are going to split with your partner, you have to do it for yourself, not me' (I had been discussing the fact that I'd wanted to initiate a split for some time.

Once the split was done, the lady and I continued dating. We have now been 'an item' for two months. For the first five weeks, we saw each other approximately every four days and were growing closer and closer, lots of handholding, hugging, chaste kisses etc. We had both discussed our past liaisons, both of us saying we didn't want to rush into things as we had both done before, but to take things steadily. I respected this viewpoint and agreed in principle, as I wanted to show the lady how keen I was by being patient and devoted.

But over the past three-four weeks, I feel things have really cooled off and I don't know if it's me or circumstances. The lady has a busy family life and some health issues and it's been hard for her of late ( she is the single mother of a late developing 13 year old daughter who is going through a difficult stage, has one demanding and somewhat overpowering parent and herself has three long-term health problems -one emerging in the last three weeks - none of which are effectively curable).

Objectively, I can see how the circumstances have affected the lady, plus my life is by comparison very simple (I have effectively no ties in my free time and of course I've wanted to spend as much of this as possible lately with this woman), BUT I've felt neglected and superfluous recently, as she seems to be making very little effort to see me and letting her family get in the way (I'll state her that I like her family and they like me) - our dates now seem tokenistic and perfunctory. Sometimes she is very cool, other times she holds me very close, kisses me chastely, but I'm simply NOT feeling the sense of playfulness and attraction toward me I was a month ago.

So I'm trying to play it cool a little and hold back. She's told me I'm attractive, seems to have me in her life as an established routine, likes the way I dress, likes my personality, and so on, but here's the rub - she still hasn't french kissed me, which to me would be a sign of real romantic/sexual attraction.

Therefore, I'm thinking of using pheromones to rekindle her interest, as although I'm not short of ideas for romantic dates etc, I'm struggling to get her on her own. So it seems to me I need to enhance my natural attractiveness with something that will remind her how things were a month ago...

Any opinions, insights etc welcome. Thanks for your time, guys!

I can't think of any advice for you right now, as it's late at night and my brain may not be working properly. But I wish you all the best and I'll follow your thread with interest. Do let us know how it goes!

Hi. I hafta say that if she has just found out about a new serious health condition, she is not herself right now. I myself have several major health conditions and i know how i have felt when I was dignosed. So I would think you want her to feel safe, but still ignite some passion. I think Androstadienone would be a safe bet for you. Hopefully some of the guys will come along to suggest particular products as I only know them from a women's perspective. Good luck to you both. If it doesn't work out, I think you are at a prime time to get to know yourself as a single guy again and have some fun!

Check out Perfect Match at Love Potion. It is supposed to mimic that first love feeling, good for bonding etc.

(05-30-2012 4:46 AM)Striker Wrote:  We started 'dating' platonically and I realised that as well as finding her VERY physically attractive, we also had lots in common. After a few 'dates', I asked her to confirm that she would be intersted in a romantic relationship with me if I was free. 'yes' she said, 'but if you are going to split with your partner, you have to do it for yourself, not me' (I had been discussing the fact that I'd wanted to initiate a split for some time.

Once the split was done, the lady and I continued dating. We have now been 'an item' for two months. For the first five weeks, we saw each other approximately every four days and were growing closer and closer, lots of handholding, hugging, chaste kisses etc. We had both discussed our past liaisons, both of us saying we didn't want to rush into things as we had both done before, but to take things steadily. I respected this viewpoint and agreed in principle, as I wanted to show the lady how keen I was by being patient and devoted.

You're depicting the total nice guy. It's the typical bait-and-wait game a woman shows when she's not sure about a guy and whether she is attracted. You falling for that game makes you two go further and further from each other.

Her family, health problems and yada yada are likely just an excuse as she doesn't feel attracted anymore.

My advice:
Use a strong sexual like Corpo, AV, AM or Heart Throb and be sexually playful/aggressive with her. Start things slow and gradually turn up the heat. Don't let her "Take things slow" throw you off track. She's mostly just testing whether she can throw you off track and make you back out.

(05-31-2012 8:05 AM)idontknow Wrote:  You're depicting the total nice guy. It's the typical bait-and-wait game a woman shows when she's not sure about a guy and whether she is attracted. You falling for that game makes you two go further and further from each other.

Her family, health problems and yada yada are likely just an excuse as she doesn't feel attracted anymore.

My advice:
Use a strong sexual like Corpo, AV, AM or Heart Throb and be sexually playful/aggressive with her. Start things slow and gradually turn up the heat. Don't let her "Take things slow" throw you off track. She's mostly just testing whether she can throw you off track and make you back out.

I have considered this angle and feel you may well be almost 100% correct. At the moment, I'm holding back and not contacting her, as she's probably grown used to me getting in touch on a regular basis. I understand that psychology that this may lead her to notice my absence, feel disconcerted by it, start to feel insecure as I've not contacted her and this may increase her interest in me.

On the other hand, she may of course have already had her fill and it may already be over.

Thanks for the 'mone advice, will consider it, all suggestions very welcome on this front.

I'd be interested to hear what others think on the 'holding back' approach at this stage, though.

I am opposite of Halo on this one. I'd do the romantic date - but I'd have a drop dead sexy Phero on...

I wouldn't *push* her - I'd see if doing your normal thing - she comes at you. If she's attracted to you - really truly still is - she will. If not - she won't.

Then you will know. Wanting you is wanting you - whether or not she has things on her mind. She might be tentative on approach because of all the other things but still...

My .02 cents...

Good luck - really. I mean that.

(05-31-2012 8:24 AM)Striker Wrote:  I have considered this angle and feel you may well be almost 100% correct. At the moment, I'm holding back and not contacting her, as she's probably grown used to me getting in touch on a regular basis. I understand that psychology that this may lead her to notice my absence, feel disconcerted by it, start to feel insecure as I've not contacted her and this may increase her interest in me.

On the other hand, she may of course have already had her fill and it may already be over.

Thanks for the 'mone advice, will consider it, all suggestions very welcome on this front.

I'd be interested to hear what others think on the 'holding back' approach at this stage, though.

Seems sound. If she doesn't do a move on her part, which is quite possible, you can try again in like 2 weeks.

Though anyways, if you got a realistic chance to get a meetup then that's always the best choice.

Even if you don't contact her anymore it's in fact still her laying you on ice, not the other way around.

(05-31-2012 9:19 AM)Shelly B Wrote:  I am opposite of Halo on this one. I'd do the romantic date - but I'd have a drop dead sexy Phero on...

I wouldn't *push* her - I'd see if doing your normal thing - she comes at you. If she's attracted to you - really truly still is - she will. If not - she won't.

That's the girly view, imo. If she thinks the same, like "If he really wants me, he'll make a move and push things", then it's going to be a look-but-don't-touch-evening.

[/QUOTE]
That's the girly view, imo. If she thinks the same, like "If he really wants me, he'll make a move and push things", then it's going to be a look-but-don't-touch-evening.
[/quote]


LOL - it is the girly view. I'm a girl. He's trying to test how a girl feels about him. Look but don't touch? Hello? At our ages? In the 30's and 40's? IDK, IDK - maybe my experience is different - but if I feel like going for it - that's where I'm going. In my 20's - ok maybe not. But by the time I got to mid 30's - screw that.

A woman's got to do what a woman's got to do...and there is ZERO sense in my world in sitting around frustrated.

Different genders, different planets, somedays I swear different species. Fortunately - at least on this end - you guys are funny, interesting, and totally worth hanging out with...this feels oddly like the online equivalent to the basement req room next door growing up - where there were just two girls (I was one of them) and 13 boys playing air hockey, foosball, and talking bull shit.

I'm finding a Phero Forum with more men than women a bit odd after all these years...laughs again...wanders off to find more coffee...

IDK's advice is solid. Maybe gently creating some sense of rivalry too.