Hi guys!
I am finally able to do my first report today.I need to give some context first however.
I’ve been in a relationship for 2.5 years. We did split up once last year for a couple of weeks, then got back together until recently where I decided to split up again, even though we both love each other. The reason is that she lied to me a few times which made me lose all trust in her. So, we split up last week (one day before I discovered this forum) and she moved out the flat the day after. Right before she moved, I went back on my decision and asked her to tell me the truth so we could be together. She was mad and said she should not have to prove anything and said that she didn’t even want to be friends. At that point I saw on the pheromones a tool with a good potential for us to be back on track but also as a door opener with infinite possibilities.
Fast forward one week: Following good advices from Terry I had ordered NA, Xist and also ACE and was anxiously waiting for them. I had been thinking about my gf everyday but had also been able to shift my mind out of it by focusing on reading about my new passion: mones

, so things were a lot better and easier for me than the 1st time we split up. On the other hand, I found out that one of her friends had been telling her lies and my gf had become ill (anxiety, panic attacks). She texted me and I managed to make her see that her friend had been telling her a lot of BS. After a few texts, she tells me she misses me. Yesterday, she says she wants to see me. I was not expecting that since I thought she wanted to cut every contact so she could move on, but I accept and we plan to meet on Saturday. She adds that she needs a favor: she needs to wash some clothes and asks me if she can pop up in the evening to use my washing machine. I accept even though I’m not sure what will be the vibe of the meeting (one week before she was very hostile and didn't want to listen to me). When I arrived home: BANG. SteveO goodies had arrived

. A big smile draws itself on my face. Next to my Xist and ACE Pack, a kind note from Steve, a pack of chewing gum

haha and samples of Bliss, SOB (as I asked) and Connection. Thank you Steve, you are the best! I had read about Connection after I had done my order. It was what I wanted to try since my issue with my gf were due to lack of honesty.
She is now about to arrive. I have 15-20 min. What is the best mone or combo to wear tonight? My neurones start to seething, trying to remember as much as I can of what I had read all week. I don’t have time to access my notes. I don’t know why but I know I have to use Xist. Xist +SOB.. hmm no, it will maybe be too sexual. I’m not looking for this effect and she’s in a fragile state. Xist + Cohesion?.. Xist + Connection.?. hmm, I’m indecisive tonight. It’s my first app ever and it’s an important occasion for me. I really love that girl. I go for the Xist + Connection. I take off my shirt. 1 spray of Xist in the center of my neck. 3 sprays of the Connection sample bottle on the side of my neck. 1 of them got out very weak (must have had still a bit of air in the tube), the next one spread so wide that I received some on my forearm. It smells bad…. Ok, now let it dry a bit. *ding* 10 min. ok, I put some cologne on my arm and rub against the other one, and put my shirt back. She rings the bell, I finished just in time.
I open the door and I see her, with her umbrella. It’s raining outside. She looks a bit dull, not perky as usual. She enters and I feel happy to see her. I can smell the mones on me and wonder if she can smell them too. I offer her a warm drink and she goes to the kitchen where she sits. BAM, she is all smile and her eyes are wide and sparkling. She looks at me without blinking while I make the coffee. I can feel she's happy. Could it be the mones? Maybe, maybe not. I know she missed me and she says it again. We talk and laugh, and she’s like a little girl, but I’m worried cause I can tell she hasn’t been well lately. I’ve seen her like that before. Her hands are shaking, she hasn’t been into work for the last 4 or 5 days and she’s a bit giddy. She says very random things, and she keeps cleaning the table with the napkin like a compulsive behavior. and I’m worried about her mental sanity, even though she’s a strong person. Anyway I’m really happy to look her in the eyes, to see her smile and I know it’s the same for her. I really love her and I know at that moment, that I will always will. I ask her if she can notice anything new (to gauge the mone effect) and also because I’ve been wearing colored contact lenses since a few days. I lean towards her so she can get some of the pheromones closer to her. She take her boots off, she seems comfortable. Also, I feel the need to hug her, so I ask her if she want one. We hug and she immediately puts her nose on the side of my neck were I sprayed connectionXs. After I few seconds I can sense she’s crying

She tells me that she can’t be just friend with me. She looks at me and she sees ’her guy’. She leaves and say it was not a good idea to come and that she can’t see me on saturday as we planned because it’s too painful seeing me and not having me.
I’m totally divided. Part of me wants to get back with her, and part of me knows that without trust it can’t work and we will go back to the exact same scenario in a few months. Plus, the idea of using mones being single is really tempting. But she brought so much to my life and I love her like I never loved anybody. Damn, this is the hardest decision of my life…
Second day
Today I decided to try Ascend alone. One spray on my upper chest. After 25 min I applied some perfume and put my shirt one. It smells bad. To me it does not smell like vagina secretions but I can tell I know the smell. I don’t know, maybe it’s because it just smells like one of the mones I put yesterday (connections or xist) .
I don’t notice any self effect. The only relevant things I noticed is that I felt very sleepy on the taxi on the journey to the office and therefore me and my colleague talked less in the taxi, and perhaps I got more “thanks” in the office from people with whom I practically didn’t interact. I had to do a presentation in front of 8-10 but didn’t’ notice any difference in respect or anything. Perhaps we can even say I felt less respect since I got asked more questions than usual, which now sounds like less authority coming from what I was saying. (or I’m just over analysing it).
Should I go with 2 sprays on monday ?
Tonight my gf (or ex-gf) should come to pick up her clothes. I am tempting to put Cohesion on the ascend app that I have now. Or should I go for the xist again? What are your thoughts?
Many thanks.
M.
P.S: I WANT MY JOURNAL!!!

P.S2: I promise my next reports won't be that long