(05-12-2015 11:19 PM)t-Rex Wrote:  Question to yourself man, if you can get her back to you with pheromone, how long it will be last for you? is it a health relationship?

it's time to move on

The breakup was the fault of my actions. I didn't try, and I thought she'd always stick by me even when I didn't put in the effort. The difference in getting another chance now, is that I can do so much better than I ever have. I can sweep her off her feet if she let's me, and I can fulfill all the important things she had been asking for for years.

This was essentially a wakeup call for me, but I had already wasted my second and third chances years ago on lesser things.

(05-13-2015 12:50 AM)jjs1234 Wrote:  why not re-invent yourself.

That's what I've been trying to do, but progress is slow and I could use a little help.

For instance learning to change your voice to sound more confident and less nasal til its your default is something I've never done before. And it's HARD.

Trying to change how I view the world and situations, to be more observant and find humor in places I couldn't before, this is also difficult to learn.

Becoming a better storyteller and reducing on the amount of rambling I do is difficult, not to mention it goes hand in hand with memory, so i've been trying to practice logic puzzles, reading comprehension, math problems and speech. There's lots of ways to potentially improve memory and brain function, I'm working on it, but it may take awhile.

The easiest changes have been exercise and losing weight, and cleaning more often, and just generally being more agreeable and no longer argumentative.

(05-13-2015 9:36 AM)joris06 Wrote:  What is the reson that its going out on then on again for 10 years long?

We used to argue a lot, and have trust issues. I've always been pretty beta and jealous. While she's confident and angry.

She used to feel lucky to have me, because I was the first boyfriend who truly found her attractive, and she wanted me all to herself. As I boosted her confidence down the line, and others took notice of her she started questioning tolerating my bad sides. My laziness, how unreliable I was, and how depressing I could be.

For the longest time she just wanted to hear me say 'I love you' because it filled her with butterflies. For 2 years I wouldn't say this, because I was considering moving on. I didn't realize everything I wanted in a woman was right here, and I was hung up on the idea of experiencing other girls before I was too old.

I spent very little time with her in recent years, and she didn't have mutual friends filling the gap in happiness given how far apart we all live now.

I brought this on, and now i'm trying to fix it.

(05-13-2015 10:22 AM)BeautifulEnigma Wrote:  Yeah, as much as I agree with everyone else on moving on, I agree with metaltree... let's have some empathy and understand TheLastDecision is only trying to do what is in his power to keep the girl. Two possible outcomes come to mind, each with different considerations that need to be made: (1) the mones don't work for you. The good in this is that at least you know you tried everything you can and move on without regrets thereafter; or (2) the mones work for you. Keep in mind though that when it does work..there is that possibility that you will keep wondering about the authenticity of her feelings. Do they really exist, or is it more manipulated by pheromones? And this will always keep you on edge. Granted that mones do only 10% of the work, but sometimes that 10% can make all the difference.

Just some food for thought from a female perspective.

The entire reason I stayed and didn't end up moving out is that I know I'll regret it later.

I need to keep trying, I want to show her that I'm not just a bunch of empty promises, and I am capable of change.

If pheromones do alter her feelings, even temporarily, that gives me time, and time is what I so desperately need. If I can get her emotionally invested in me again, then I can continue being the better guy I should have been for the last two years. I don't even need to worry about failure at that point, I already know what my mistakes are and how to fix them, I just need to get a chance from her.

(05-13-2015 8:27 PM)kimosabe Wrote:  Pheromones are only 10-20% of the equation. If the other 80-90% is screwed up to begin with, then no amount of 10-20% is going to help. And then you'll have yet another newcomer to pheromones saying they don't work.

Simply giving pheromone advice while remaining willfully oblivious to the obvious is egregious. Though we may differ in what we use mones for (romance, business, social dynamics, selfies, etc.) the fact of the matter is we are ALL using mones to improve our lives in one way or another.

One cannot look at pheromones in isolation. A holistic approach is required.

We may not FULLY understand his situation, but based on what he has written in his OP, we know ENOUGH to offer sound advice.

Don't worry about me giving bad feedback about pheromones. I'm mature enough to acknowledge it working on others even if it isn't relative to my reason for buying them.

And I appreciate all of the advice coming in, trust me i've gathered a lot of opinions from people that make some of the harsher posters here look like ned flanders.

At the end of the day I'm working toward one goal, and anything that helps me get there is good advice.

(05-14-2015 8:09 AM)mark-in-dallas Wrote:  And, if he's completely set on trying to win back her affections, we're trying to show him what we know to work best.

And That's all I can ask you for, You guys have been wonderful so far with relationship, pheromone, and life advice, all of which increases my chances.

(05-14-2015 10:22 AM)TheLastDecision Wrote:  She used to feel lucky to have me, because I was the first boyfriend who truly found her attractive, and she wanted me all to herself. As I boosted her confidence down the line, and others took notice of her she started questioning tolerating my bad sides. My laziness, how unreliable I was, and how depressing I could be.

If you were her first boyfriend that made her feel good that complicates things a lot. She may need to get some more reference experiences in her life before settling down with one man. She may need to date and have a few relationships with other men.

I would wear your XiSt and GOA around her until she moves out. That should leave the best possible impression of you for her. Then let her go and get her reference experiences in life. Then after a few years she will either decide that you are the man for her or not. But if you don't let her go and get the reference experiences then she will be driven away from you sooner or later.

Meanwhile this will give you the chance to date other women and play the field yourself. If you meet another woman before she moves out you have the right to go on a date.

Quote:If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

(05-14-2015 1:19 PM)metaltree Wrote:  If you were her first boyfriend that made her feel good that complicates things a lot. She may need to get some more reference experiences in her life before settling down with one man. She may need to date and have a few relationships with other men.

I would wear your XiSt and GOA around her until she moves out. That should leave the best possible impression of you for her. Then let her go and get her reference experiences in life. Then after a few years she will either decide that you are the man for her or not. But if you don't let her go and get the reference experiences then she will be driven away from you sooner or later.

Meanwhile this will give you the chance to date other women and play the field yourself. If you meet another woman before she moves out you have the right to go on a date.

Quote:If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

I've considered that. It's also what's stopping me from trying to make her jealous by being with someone else. Since she's never had sex with any other guy, we're not really even. So me doing it now would make me more of a man-whore than anything.

It's doubly bad since sex with someone else for her will seem really enticing or exciting, we can only hope that if it does happen its as bad and uncomfortable as possible : )

I'm not beyond waiting years for her to want something with me again either, though its certainly painful to think about what's in between.

(05-14-2015 1:29 PM)TheLastDecision Wrote:  I'm not beyond waiting years for her to want something with me again either, though its certainly painful to think about what's in between.

If I were a betting man I think this strategy would give you the best odds. I understand that the strategy kinda sucks though.

I'm going for you TheLastDecision, I hope you stick around and tell us how it goes, whatever way it goes.