(01-15-2013 7:07 PM)kmacc45 Wrote:  This is aimed at a guy who is bad at foreplay. News Flash Guys, Foreplay is an all day Process. Making love never, ever begins in the bed.

Ah...
But what I was asking is if there is an underlying sub-conscious pheromone impulse that drives women in the opposite direction (from her husband in bed)
and then...
the conscious mind says something to try to rationalize the primal drive they are feeling sub-consciously and what they think sounds good and understandable in order to communicate.

Bad at foreplay is a translation that doesn't really have a pheromone implication, not directly anyway.

(01-15-2013 7:07 PM)kmacc45 Wrote:  This is aimed at a guy who is bad at foreplay. News Flash Guys, Foreplay is an all day Process. Making love never, ever begins in the bed.

This reminds me of myself in how I have everything going right, then right as the action is about to get into full swing I get pissed off at something my wife says and then I say "that was a major turnoff, I changed my mind, lets not..."

and while I really want to have some sex, whatever she was talking about was either insulting or a sore subject that I just lose the mood. I wonder if she does that just to piss me off because she doesn't want to have sex, and doesn't want to be cliche and say "I have a headache"?

Maybe there is a 'mone for self effects where I don't really care what she says and just go for the gold? That might be counter productive, but something that says "focus and ignore the noise", of course this would be counteractive to foreplay all together as you wouldn't be giving/receiving cues, and may get in your way to help the wife get turned on, or maybe it would be a silver bullet.

(01-15-2013 6:48 PM)dexter Wrote:  So what would be an interpretation of the phrase:
"Not tonight, I have a Headache."
Any ladies open to describe this for the guys, any guys have a definitive answer so the ladies can know what they really meant when they said it?

You should put on some Androstadienone . I want to feel comfortable and loved.

(03-11-2013 8:07 PM)paradigmshift Wrote:  You should put on some Androstadienone . I want to feel comfortable and loved.

That isn't very centered on the thread topic, unless that is a quote that your wife/girlfriend/ex-gf tells you and reveals something sub-conscious.

maybe more words would help get your point across.

(03-11-2013 8:14 PM)dexter Wrote:  That isn't very centered on the thread topic, unless that is a quote that your wife/girlfriend/ex-gf tells you and reveals something sub-conscious.

maybe more words would help get your point across.

You just dont understand.... Lol.

Why would a woman say they have a headache. There could be a lot of reasons. It could be that time of the month. Maybe she had a hard day and isnt feeling it because she doesnt feel appreciated. Maybe shes mad and is punishing you by withholding sex.

you stink of none and im raging. Im saying i have a headache because if i have to explain someones sleeping on the couch.

(03-11-2013 8:36 PM)paradigmshift Wrote:  you stink of none and im raging. Im saying i have a headache because if i have to explain someones sleeping on the couch.

hmm, much better.

Does your wife/gf/other ever comment on you smelling like none?
My wife has commented that I "smell like pheromones" before, and ironically it was when I had not applied any. I know I must put out my own natural 'mones, but she has only commented a few times and it has always been when I wasn't wearing any.

My wife also doesn't discuss or talk or care to talk about 'mones, so it isn't an overt thing that she would say, you may be in a different situation where perhaps you both use 'mones to attract each other, or other reasons.

I think if both me and the wife were both trying to use 'mones to get into each others pants, then we would probably be boinking so much I would be bruised and broken. Hmm, if only my marriage involved 2 people wanting to get it more often. I should probably invest some time in finding out what her priorities are in what she wants more of as it is definitely different than what I'm trying to get more of.

Am I the only one who suffers from this?

Sometimes try not to focus all on pheromones, technical logic and science when it comes to women and focus on their emotional side of things.
-Her wants and desires
-What turns her on
-Physical touch
Etc.

Have a read of pandoras box by david de angelo. There was some good points in the book that covered that.

(01-15-2013 6:48 PM)dexter Wrote:  So what would be an interpretation of the phrase:
"Not tonight, I have a Headache."
Any ladies open to describe this for the guys, any guys have a definitive answer so the ladies can know what they really meant when they said it?

Hi Dexter, I'm new here but would like to contribute to this (as it sparked my interest from the heading).

"Not tonight, I have a headache." It could mean one of a couple things:

"The pheromones you are putting out today are weak and they aren't revving me up enough to be interested in sex with you... so I am going to fake a headache to get out of it"
or
"I am in such a bad mood that my chemical signals are blocking out your pheromones from having a good effect on me, so I not only have a 'bad mood' headache but definitely don't want to have sex."

Let me know what you think

~Nix

---

(01-15-2013 6:48 PM)dexter Wrote:  So what would be an interpretation of the phrase:
"Not tonight, I have a Headache."
Any ladies open to describe this for the guys, any guys have a definitive answer so the ladies can know what they really meant when they said it?

Hi Dexter, I'm new here but would like to contribute to this (as it sparked my interest from the heading).

"Not tonight, I have a headache." It could mean one of a couple things:

"The pheromones you are putting out today are weak and they aren't revving me up enough to be interested in sex with you... so I am going to fake a headache to get out of it"
or
"I am in such a bad mood that my chemical signals are blocking out your pheromones from having a good effect on me, so I not only have a 'bad mood' headache but definitely don't want to have sex."

Let me know what you think

~Nix

Lol, sorry... just fixed my signature and avatar and it reprinted the message.

(03-15-2013 8:17 AM)PhoenixOnFyre119 Wrote:  Hi Dexter, I'm new here but would like to contribute to this (as it sparked my interest from the heading).

"Not tonight, I have a headache." It could mean one of a couple things:

"The pheromones you are putting out today are weak and they aren't revving me up enough to be interested in sex with you... so I am going to fake a headache to get out of it"
or
"I am in such a bad mood that my chemical signals are blocking out your pheromones from having a good effect on me, so I not only have a 'bad mood' headache but definitely don't want to have sex."

Let me know what you think

~Nix

---

Sounds good Nix, sounds good.
After reading one of my new favorite books
"Survival Games Personalities Play" by Eve Delunas Ph.D., I picked up some more info, although not directly related to 'mones, it relates to the unseen link between motives and actions.

I've seen even more of this in my life. Here is an example from this week that happened to me.
Watching TV late at night with my wife, then go to bed together, start the motions of getting it on, but then she starts being all mean, rude, and grouchy and starts ripping me a new hole over everything I've ever done wrong in my life. Well, in Delunas book, there is a defense mechanism she calls Complain-Nag. She says that Complain-Nag is a defense mechanism that correlates to the xSxJ personality type in the MBTI (Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator). I'm an ENFP and my wife is an ESTJ, and the Complain:Nag game is definitely a pattern she follows, only after reading the book did I realize the method behind the madness though. The book talks about how stress levels in life, whether physical, emotional, or situational can trigger defense mechanisms when they build up and reach a high enough level. The neat part of the info in the book is that it explains how the reaction to the stress (the defense mechanism) doesn't relate to the stress, or the person causing the stress, or does it solve the stress problem in a direct way. The defense mechanism, in this case "Complain-Nag" is relates to my wife's personality type. So no matter what stresses her, she will go back to her usual defense mechanism that she has used since I met her.

So on this particular night, I took a step back and said, hmm... this is a Complain-Nag defense mechanism in play. And then I said, out loud, "Something is stressing you out, lets talk about it..." and we did, and I kept asking questions and it turns out that she was twisting and wrenching inside from about 6 different stressful things that she kept thinking about from earlier in the day. So we talked about each individual stress topic and I tried to talk her down from the ledge on each one. It worked, she reduces her stress level and then didn't need to use the Complain-Nag defense mechanism, and since I was the only one around, it wasn't being used "ON ME!"

So to say it more clearly, and not thru a story like I did above,
"What they say/do doesn't always relate to what is stressing them out." The fact is that they feel stress, and when the stress burden gets high enough, then they use a defense mechanism to divert their attention away from the stress, to avoid thinking about the actual stressful stuff for awhile. It is a diversion tactic that the unconscious mind uses for defending beliefs.

Some beliefs can be:
I am a good person
I am always right
My way of doing "x" is the best
I am in control
I am respected
I am nice
I am strong

These are simple thoughts that the unconscious mind can handle and when these beliefs are threatened the defense mechanisms come in and divert attention away from the situation that is threatening the belief.

I was able to lower my wife's stress and after doing so, she felt relieved of the threat to her belief that she was "Able to do everything" and "Be in control." So then she didn't need to use the defense mechanism anymore.

Then she was sweet and nice and we got it on!

There are other defense mechanism that are used, not everyone uses this one like my wife.
Delunas says there are 4 "Games" each is related to a MBTI type,
there are 4 games and 6 variants to each game talked about in the book. There may be more than 4 games, there may be more than 6 variants each, but the book only has 4 and 6. The games are not limited to the personality types they are associated with, but are more statistically likely for them. Everybody is a mix of strengths, so any single person could "play" any or all of the survival games.

They are:
MBTI type (label) Defense Mechanism "Game" ["Object" of game]
6 varieties of each game (sorry I sure didn't remember them all)

_S_P (Artisan) Blackmail []
Shock / Delinquency / Binge / Outrage / Con Artist / 6
[pg. 266- Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse By Doug Thorburn have some "Blackmail" game stuff
google books, drunks drugs debits ]

_S_J (Guardian) Complain []
Nag / Doormat / Worried / Invalid / Poor Me / Depressed

_NF_ (Idealist) Masquerade [Deceive]
Forget / Paralysis / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

_NT_ (Rational) Robot [Distract]
Haunted / That's Illogical / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

http://pherotruth.org/Thread-Personality...ity?page=2

(02-20-2013 2:46 PM)dexter Wrote:  I just read a new book on MBTI Personality Types. It is super awesome and gave me more insights into myself and others.
It is called:
Survival Games Personalities Play
by Eve Delunas Ph.D.
http://www.amazon.com/Survival-Games-Per...1450513468


The author worked with Kiersey for 10 years and Milton Erickson for 4, both of whom I have a great amount of respect for from their works.

It goes a step beyond the MBTI and talks about the sub-concious defense mechanisms that different types use. It is really interesting to see how I fit into so many of them. It also gives case studies of how people were able to get over using these sometimes destructive defense mechanisms thru different types of actions.

As far as how this can relate to pheromones, it can help you identify and understand stress reactions in people, thus being able to see if there is a change due to pheromone exposure. If you can see another variable that used to be hidden, and then monitor it, you can see more clearly how pheromones effect yourself and others.

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