Hi Guys,

I will be concise. Basically I've just come out of a very messed up period in my life. I am glad I was able to come out of it and things worked out.

I am within a very intense career (software engineer/IT Consultant). I am, 27 and about 172 cm tall (I know it's not much but I'm sure there are other areas I can work on). Now that the bullshit is gone, I can focus on having a good life and improving myself.

I have just gotten my arse back to the gym. I am sticking to strength training for now, and when my strength goes up I'll probably give keto diet a go so I can get them abs!

Anyhow, my dilemma is this. I have experience with nude alpha gel. But my situation is this, I have a good career, and some of my big issues are solved. However I have cut off a few people from my life as I felt the need to move forward and improve. That leaves me with me not having much of a life. So I am asking for advice. I have experience with "Daygaming" but I don't think it's an efficient expenditure of your time.

So I would like to ask for some advice on how to start over? The main issue for me is that I am not exposed or not in activities with a lot of women around me. I would honestly just like to get a girlfriend who I am attracted to. i am thinking of just finding activities to have a social life, and then bring nude alpha gel with maybe something else to get myself started. But I am having trouble on where to start.

For whatever my paltry thoughts may be worth...

I empathize with your situation. No matter how big or small the changes may be, renewing oneself, as well as their life, is a terrifying ordeal. The uncertainty of leaving behind the devil we know for an unknown demon causes self-doubt, stress, confusion, and destroys one's confidence.

While I'm probably the first person in the universe that should take my own advice, it really boils down to us over complicating things. Ultimately life...all things really...is pretty simple. Figure out what sort of life you want to have and then make it happen. No, it isn't easy, but it is that simple.

Everything in our lives comes down to two steps. Figure out what sort of person you want to be, then be that. Figure out what your goal is, then work towards that. From what you stated it seems to me that you are looking to improve your physical body (and hopefully your intellectual and spiritual self as well [not necessarily religion, but in how you view yourself, the world, and your place within it]), your personal life, and your social life...hopefully with a romantic life as well.

While it wouldn't be hyperbolic to say that I am pretty much always in a chrysalis state, always undergoing some sort of metamorphosis, I'd ofttimes rather not always be transitioning from the unknown into a murkier unknown. However, what has always helped me is objective introspection of myself, looking at where I am, and why; seeing how those experiences have formed me into who I am in this present moment; and using those strengths, and the context that made me who and what I am, to lay out a "plan" (of sorts) to move ever-forward towards my personal goals defined by "Asshole Gladen's Two-Step Plan".

One can expect missteps and things to go awry as you better yourself to align more with your true inner goals. These are not failures; one only fails when they stop advancing. Edison didn't immediately figure out how to make the lightbulb, he first discovered more than 10,000 ways to not make a lightbulb.

While it can be quite disconcerting to face life changing events, never be afraid. Remember Paul Muad Dib quoting the Bene Gesserit Mantra (from Frank Herbert's Dune) "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

I do, however, not only give you my respect and admiration, as most would stay with the devil they know until the pain of life overwhelms and consumes them; but I also will say that I KNOW that if you figure out exactly what you want to do and be, and then do and be that, that everything else will fall into place when you least expect it.

I'll try this with humor in terms you understand:



This is basically what you have to do.

Thanks guys for the kind responses! ahahahahah that is funny. You're right I need to figure things out and self reflect and go from there.

I want to start off by saying congrats getting over the difficult portion of your life! It is good to finally reach the peak of the mountain instead of climbing and hoping. With that said, whatever pains and troubles you have overcome, there will be more to face. As you can see now, you are stuck in a new rut or "dilemma". As others have said, you must try new things and see if it clicks. You are already planning to work out, so begin by doing that; not just for the ladies but for YOU. Focus on bettering yourself, enjoying your life by doing things you enjoy, and try new things that seem interesting.

Yes, you will have failures. Don't let this trouble you as failure teaches you many things in life. Failure can show things you pre-planned wrong, things you planned well but poorly executed, and things that you may have had no control over. The one thing you must keep in mind during times of failure is that failure is not only bad, and the lessons learned from failure make you grow as a person. If you let the failure eat you and only focus on the negatives of failure, you will never get back up and move on. This is much easier said than done, so you will have to motivate yourself to improving yourself and having a more positive outlook.

I am sure I could ramble on about personal experience and more, but hopefully this gets you a good start!

Go get the book How to Be a 3% Man, Winning The Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams. I'm not sure how old you are but it's a great book that I wished I'd had many many years ago. It'll get you on the right track. Starting over and getting the life you want? It'll cover all your bases.

(02-09-2020 3:27 AM)fueroman3 Wrote:  Go get the book How to Be a 3% Man, Winning The Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams. I'm not sure how old you are but it's a great book that I wished I'd had many many years ago. It'll get you on the right track. Starting over and getting the life you want? It'll cover all your bases.

Another good book is Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. You may say "Guys, I am not just looking for women. I want to better myself too." Models is not just for attracting through cheesy pickup lines, fancy cars, or lots of money. It focuses on how to better yourself and improve your outlook on life, thus, the perception you can give off to women from the betterment and happiness of yourself. It is also good at going about on how to be open and yourself in a natural way to women. I would not say this is a PUA book, so don't see it in a bad way because to title has in it "attract women". The author wrote it well and is down to earth.

I am not sure if 3% does the same or not, but it sounds very similar by how fueroman explains it.

Some have had success with subliminals to improve mind set. Mindful meditation works too. Hoping these things may help you feel more grounded.

Meeting the ladies. Online dating (ask a girl who is a friend for help with your profile). Volunteer.....makes you feel good and you can find a place where a lot of women volunteer.....when I was young and single, I used to volunteer where the sorority girls volunteered. They have graduate members who go too.....dog parks (borrow a dog or foster one).

(02-09-2020 10:02 AM)DarkLord1 Wrote:  Some have had success with subliminals to improve mind set. Mindful meditation works too. Hoping these things may help you feel more grounded.

Meeting the ladies. Online dating (ask a girl who is a friend for help with your profile). Volunteer.....makes you feel good and you can find a place where a lot of women volunteer.....when I was young and single, I used to volunteer where the sorority girls volunteered. They have graduate members who go too.....dog parks (borrow a dog or foster one).

Speaking of subliminals!... I have had no success with them. They were probably not for me, or maybe I wasn't doing something right I would say try them out, give them a few weeks, and see if it makes a difference for you. I do think Darklord is onto something with the volunteering for finding quality women!

Affirmations are good, but it is hard to find good ones that aren't overdone (in what is said in the affirmations) or a computer voice. I do recommend Alpha Affirmations on YouTube. Some of the videos come off a bit much -- how you are like a god or God's chosen one, but others knock it out of the park. Find some that you like, put on some headphones (or earbuds), and listen to them either in bed or in the mirror. Make sure you are calm/focused and are not distracted doing or thinking about random things (i.e. texting, homework/work, watching a movie).

Thank you so much guys for the advice! Highly appreciated!

I'll get 3% book seems quite good; keen to get it! I read models a long a time ago. It was a decent book!

Also the volunteering advice, eff yeah I thought about that before. I think I'm gonna look into that!

I've meditating every week for ages now, but my goal is to get mindfulness meditation everyday. I want to give subs a go but I think affirmation right after a mindful sesh work really good!

Thanks again for reminding me about volunteering. It's perfect!

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