I just thought I would start a thread on the subject of escaping the dreaded "friend zone".
This seems to be a problem for alot of guys. And once we have been thrown into the "friend zone dungeon", it is very hard to figure out how to get out.

Any and all advice is welcome here as long as it has to do with escaping the "friend zone". Self help advice is welcome...Advice on which products to use is welcome.

Also, I would really love to get the advice of our female members also. What is it that makes women throw us into the "friend zone dungeon"? How can we escape it? Is there any way to escape the dungeon and become your lover? Or is all hope lost once we have been thrown into the dungeon? Women...Your views are welcome here! I hope you all will participate and help us men out here. Thank you in advance!

Let the posting begin.

Some men have found copulins to be helpful for this purpose. More generally, letting her see that you have rivals for her attention may be effective. Don't be a pushover, and be careful about doing things for her and jumping through hoops that you wouldn't do for a male friend. Too much comfort, not enough attraction might be a good summary of this problem. One can work on becoming generally more attractive (dress, tonality, body language, posture, physical culture/presence, learn to dance and/or to fight eg boxing, martial arts, becoming more assertive, achieve self-mastery - meditation or some other spiritual practice, teasing, career, accomplishment outside career eg music, sports, social circle, achieving position of leadership or respect amongst men), but it is tough to persuade one girl in particular until you have many more options away (by which time she may seem rather less special than you originally thought - our perceptions tending to be shaped by the alternatives of which we are aware).

The poster ijjjj at the old fastseduction.com forum (now down, but you may be able to get hold of his archive, and he has astale blog) was very good on these sorts of things.

In principle, women might be expected to give good advice on this topic. In practice, the experts on seducing women are men, and women don't always have the insight into their own behaviour that you might expect. So be careful about accepting advice from a woman, just because she is female.

Here's the thing with me. I almost always know the instant i meet them if they have a shot or not. We may be friends in the beginning but in the back of my mind I am thinking that it could progress. One time I did date a friend but it was for a very bad reason-to piss my ex off. That didn't last. The other time there was an exception is a big one. My current BF of over 10 years was a friend albeit a casual one for over 2 years before we got together. I thought he was a tool when I met him. We used to run into each other and were always friendly but not close or anything. We were both just party animals in the same city with some mutual friends.In the month before we got together we started hanging out as couple friends-him with his girlfriend and me with my boyfriend. Almost instantly there was chemistry all of a sudden. Then we started hanging out just the two of us for a few weeks and the chemistry was palpable. Shortly after that I dumped my boyfriend and he dumped his girlfriend and we have been together ever since. So I don't have any good advice really. It can happen obviously since it did with us. But I dated a lot of people before him and never did I say to myself, gee so and so is such a good friend I think I like him for more than friends...I always knew beforehand it was a possibility. And I have had a few close guy friends who have confessed they had feelings for me but that always ended badly. Encouraging, I know. Sorry.

(04-04-2012 2:00 PM)Pheroquirk Wrote:  So be careful about accepting advice from a woman, just because she is female.

I am very careful. At least I try to be.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression, and I agree with Halo that I think most women pretty much know within the first hour at the most whether they see you as something beyond friend zone. I think where pheromones come in to a degree is almost giving you that second chance to make that first impression that might not have been what you wanted, or brought about the outcome that you wanted. Granted, you are going to have to act congruent with the signature that your pheromone cloud is giving out, but at least it is a chance for them to see you differently than maybe previous times.

(04-04-2012 2:07 PM)halo0073 Wrote:  But I dated a lot of people before him and never did I say to myself, gee so and so is such a good friend I think I like him for more than friends...I always knew beforehand it was a possibility. And I have had a few close guy friends who have confessed they had feelings for me but that always ended badly. Encouraging, I know. Sorry.

I have met many females that I had absolutely no attraction to when I first met them. then all of a sudden, BAM!!, I get a very strong attraction to them.
This has happened to me and I know it has happened to many men.

So I know it must happen to women also.

I think for guys we might not look at a woman right away and decide if she is someone we want to date or have a Long Term Relationship with, but yeah I am sure the ole "Yeah, I would hit that" comes out pretty fast LOL. Not trying to be bad there, but there is no doubt that men think differently than women do, of course add some beers to the equation and every girl walking within fifteen feet that smiles at us moves into that category LOL.

There have been women in the past that I found attractive early on, but did not think I would truly want a relationship with and the more I was around them and the more time I spent with them that thought started to occur more often and more than a few times came to fruition as well.

(04-04-2012 2:23 PM)Arrow Wrote:  I have met many females that I had absolutely no attraction to when I first met them. then all of a sudden, BAM!!, I get a very strong attraction to them.
This has happened to me and I know it has happened to many men.

So I know it must happen to women also.

I am sure it does, just not to me in general.

Women will not be able to tell you why you are put in the friend zone or how you can escape from it, because they just don't know. They don't decide anything. They just follow the flow.

So this is a good thing for us, guys, cause everything is in our hands.

You just read some dating material. Usually, I am not an advocate of this. But some of them explain good how to create sexual tension right from the beginning, either with your body language, or with your conversation. Actually, I find out this step to be easy. Even if you don't go further because you are not alone with her, you are faithful to your GF or anything, you will leave to yourself the possibility to escalate whenever you have the opportunity. It will be up to you only.

I used to be friend zoned, but since 3 years, I never felt this frustration anymore. My rule is I don't want to be "friend" with any woman that I find attractive enough. So I hit on her or I completely ignore her, but I don't make buddy buddy with her.

If you are already friend-zoned and want to get out of this shit, you have accept the possibility to lose her as a friend. Actually, it will not happen (she will respect you even more), but if you restrain yourself, it's not gonna work. So you create sexual tension and you hit on her like crazy. It works. You have the keys.

I can tell you exactly why I put guys in the friend zone. Be careful over generalizing.

And I have lost a friendship with a male after he told me he had feelings for me. We had been good friends for 8 or 9 years too.