(12-30-2012 6:29 PM)Isis Wrote:  a lot of the more traditional type of asian males don't look towards bold and outgoing females for long term relationships...

Hahah, I was doomed from the start and I didn't know, damn

(12-30-2012 6:29 PM)Isis Wrote:  Honestly, pheromones will draw some attention but the rest of it is up to you. From what you've said, I've gathered that you do not have difficulty attracting asian males, but it's getting them to be serious about you is the problem.

Indeed. However, I found the world of pheromones highly fascinating, since I'm a smell enthusiast, it's probably the sense I feel mostly connected to. Psychology and relationships are also some of my top interests, so I'm willing to experiment and learn a lot.

@ everybody Thank you very much for the help, the suggestions, the stories and the heart-warming support. I was hesitant to post in the beginning, but I'm glad I did, eventually. I could never imagine I'd receive such meaningful advice. I love the internet

(12-30-2012 7:32 PM)mark-in-dallas Wrote:  The satisfaction from getting revenge or payback is sweet for a day or 2, but almost always regretted later.

The greatest satisfaction comes in being the better person and letting things go, and allowing the other party to eventually come to the realization that they screwed up and lost something truly worth having.

I've said this time and time again, but Karma is real and either your best friend or wickedest enemy. Do you want what you put out coming back at you or to you?

Revenge only causes reenforcement in the other person and greater satisfaction and justification in how and why they did you wrong.

This coming from a Scorpio, who used to fit my sign to a tee and be the biggest nightmare to anyone that pushed my buttons for to long or to many times. I've done my best to let go of the bad traits though, and cling dearly to those that really matter.

I know you're hurt and somewhat scarred, but but believe it or not those scars are better opportunites for learning and growing than any formal education you could ever receive, and down the road you'll look at each of them and appreciate how much they had to do with making you who you are.

I have nothing to say, there's lots of hard-earned wisdom in these words. Thank you!
Sometimes when you're hurt, you're tempted to be a little bad and get your blood back in a way. I'll do my best not to succumb to it and cool down.

However, I will also experiment with some products and see how they work in various situations and people, both personal and social. I can't wait to start noting down the results

(12-30-2012 8:04 PM)Yume Wrote:  @ everybody Thank you very much for the help, the suggestions, the stories and the heart-warming support. I was hesitant to post in the beginning, but I'm glad I did, eventually. I could never imagine I'd receive such meaningful advice. I love the internet

Actually this isn't the internet, that's filled with uncaring annonymous people. When you clicked on our link your were whisked away into the Twilight Zone, and taken to a world in another dimension where people actually care about one another, are highly intelligent and want to help each another.

Just ignore the squigly lines running accross your monitor.

(12-30-2012 8:17 PM)Yume Wrote:  I have nothing to say, there's lots of hard-earned wisdom in these words. Thank you!

Actually, I'm just an old battle scarred dude, that put his hand in the fire to many times and finally realized that I didn't like getting burned.

God I hate being the guy offering advice that as a kid I resented and thought I knew better than!

Wisdom is nothing more than life experiences, and usually unpleasant ones at that.

Out of curiosity, what type of guys hit on you the most in Japan.

An Alumni for a student organization that I am in is married to a Japanese woman, I've known them for years. But at a Christmas party he started talking how she doesn't act like a Japanese woman at all. She was super rebellious and back packed across the europe and Africa by herself against her parents wishes and loves to drink and talk shit with his guy friends. So maybe instead of dating the same type of Japanese guy try to find that needle in the haystack that suits your needs.

Indeed people are different, even though they may come from the same culture. There is always the odd one out. Once I was effectively propositioned by a young, married Japanese woman. By the way, the woman, her husband and I were housemates

Plenty of fish in the sea. Plenty more.

@LL21 @mallorylamanna

In general, all types of guys will come up and talk to me (as far as styles and backgrounds are concerned), however I mostly hang out with entertainment industry people, because we have many things in common. Supposedly, as such, they are much more open-minded than for example the typical Japanese salary-man, but still...No matter how westernised they try to look,there are many times when they just can't overcome specific Japanese traits that feel negative to us, westerners.

One could easily say "hey, so you hang out with famous and good looking-guys, so why would you expect them to be nice to you? They're professional jerks". I've thought about that! And a good portion of them are, so I stay away. I always go for the "better ones". However, I hear the stories of western friends who are in relationships with Japanese guys in normal jobs...and the annoying similarities are more than the differences...

Since, for the time being, I must stay in Japan for long periods of time, I can't avoid being in contact with the people, so I'll just mentally repeat the advice that resonated with me and do my best