(11-02-2018 1:37 PM)Gladen Wrote:  I guess that would depend upon one's point of view. He was hanging way back from her while they were shopping, so far back that I assumed they were not together.

This sounds like he's following her lead, so on the one hand, you could argue that she's fair game, even if just for flirting.

The problem, however, is that you're trusting someone who's already proven to be untrustworthy. In other words, your trusting that she doesn't just get off on approaching men to get her husband/boyfriend jealous, so he can swoop in and defend his territory (which can easily escalate to violence). Or, how about the real kicker............what if she doesn't know she's doing it, and is as shocked as you are when her husband sucker-punches the guy.

Sometimes crazy is hard to gauge until it's too late.

(11-02-2018 1:37 PM)Gladen Wrote:  I guess that would depend upon one's point of view. He was hanging way back from her while they were shopping, so far back that I assumed they were not together. I eyed her up, smiling, as she walked close to me; and we spent the next couple of minutes with her continually staring at me and smiling. Whenever i met her gaze she'd drop her eyes, blush ever so slightly and then peek back at me until I wasn't looking anymore (that she could tell) and go right on staring.

He eventually stomped up to her and started bemoaning her grocery product choices and I decided that i should remove myself. As I was trying to walk past them, she openly stared at me and smiled and flicked her tongue over her lips ever so slightly (I think just to moisten them, but I'll take that as a sign of interest, nonetheless). I tired to be good, I really did. Instead of being smart, I smiled at her and gave her a wink.

He followed her eyes and smile and then his focus, and ire, was all on me. It was....mildly amusing...but I didn't help the matter when I laughed at his threats, and she made it worse by laughing along with me and calling him an asshole!

Edited to add: I wouldn't necessarily call him a loser. I can recall far too many occasion, myself, when life-stuff got me all bent out of shape and I ended up being a whiny child and took it out on whomever was close to me; usually my wife. I have learned to be the better human and I try real hard not to do that anymore; but I sometimes fall short of being the person I want to be, myself. I cannot fault another human for showing faults that I am also apparently proud of owning; as I tend to show them off so much.

My bad, I thought it was another guy, the husband of your wife's friend, who (his wife) was into you in that bar but he couldn't get mad at you.If I remember correctly she was trying to avoid him, you were out the 3 of you and he came uninvited.He bought you beer afterwards.

(11-02-2018 4:09 PM)stefdude Wrote:  My bad, I thought it was another guy, the husband of your wife's friend, who (his wife) was into you in that bar but he couldn't get mad at you.If I remember correctly she was trying to avoid him, you were out the 3 of you and he came uninvited.He bought you beer afterwards.

Nope...that was SnoopyAce (I think)!

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(11-02-2018 3:59 PM)theLaw Wrote:  This sounds like he's following her lead, so on the one hand, you could argue that she's fair game, even if just for flirting.

The problem, however, is that you're trusting someone who's already proven to be untrustworthy. In other words, your trusting that she doesn't just get off on approaching men to get her husband/boyfriend jealous, so he can swoop in and defend his territory (which can easily escalate to violence). Or, how about the real kicker............what if she doesn't know she's doing it, and is as shocked as you are when her husband sucker-punches the guy.

Sometimes crazy is hard to gauge until it's too late.

To me it makes no difference in any way. she was obviously attached and that immediately put her off my radar.
I only brought it up because I am uncertain if it was all me diffusing the situation, or if the anti-conflict possibilities of TLG came into play. Myself and some others have noted that it has a certain level of conflict avoidance properties, so I thought i'd throw it out there just in case.

Out last night with my wife and some friends. Went to see Bohemian Rhapsody...very enjoyable.

Buddy's wife, who has known me for more than 15 years and never been a 'hug the Gladen' type, suddenly found me hug worthy on multiple occasions and I noted (and pointedly ignored) that her expression was odd and different when she was looking at me; as well as her continually staring at me.

If we two were not merely friends, I would have thought that she was eyeing me up like man sex candy. SnoopyAce had mentioned this before with female friends; he warned me.

(11-03-2018 8:54 AM)Gladen Wrote:  Out last night with my wife and some friends. Went to see Bohemian Rhapsody...very enjoyable.

Buddy's wife, who has known me for more than 15 years and never been a 'hug the Gladen' type, suddenly found me hug worthy on multiple occasions and I noted (and pointedly ignored) that her expression was odd and different when she was looking at me; as well as her continually staring at me.

If we two were not merely friends, I would have thought that she was eyeing me up like man sex candy. SnoopyAce had mentioned this before with female friends; he warned me.

Ahahaha!

Yup. I know that look you speak of. Still processing how to deal with the changes in the women in my life who are now acting as though I'm boyfriend material even though I'm happily married.

Sometimes even when you are trying NOT to be the most social around certain types, the pheromones are still affecting people.

(11-03-2018 9:11 AM)Snoopyace Wrote:  Yup. I know that look you speak of. Still processing how to deal with the changes in the women in my life who are now acting as though I'm boyfriend material even though I'm happily married.

My fear is that this behaviour + TLG is a package deal.

Also, it should be noted that all of this apparent "stuff going on behind the scenes/when you're not around" with this mix is still an unknown. You've potentially started a fire without knowing it's full potential damage.

Again, all fun.......until it's not.

I think that this is where goals are highly-valuable when using an effective mix. So the question is: What exactly do you want from TLG? (remember, without a clear metric, you don't actually have a real goal)

(11-03-2018 9:50 AM)theLaw Wrote:  My fear is that this behaviour + TLG is a package deal.

Also, it should be noted that all of this apparent "stuff going on behind the scenes/when you're not around" with this mix is still an unknown. You've potentially started a fire without knowing it's full potential damage.

Again, all fun.......until it's not.

I think that this is where goals are highly-valuable when using an effective mix. So the question is: What exactly do you want from TLG? (remember, without a clear metric, you don't actually have a real goal)

Excellent points. I think that last sentence in particular is relevant to all guys here regardless of the mix.

In my case, The Love God is all about looking to affect my bride in a positive way to rekindle the romance and add a stronger spark. It has done that in spades for me. That's why I designed this and that is ultimately what it is meant to do. For a lot of single guys it also appears to work as an excellent ice breaker and fallout generator but that is just a happy side effect as far as I'm concerned.

(11-03-2018 9:50 AM)theLaw Wrote:  My fear is that this behaviour + TLG is a package deal.

So the question is: What exactly do you want from TLG? (remember, without a clear metric, you don't actually have a real goal)

Well, let's face the truth: certain mixes are more effective with certain personality types for a plethora of reasons (physical, chemical, attitude, mentality, etc). One would not don Bad Wolf and then act meek and sheepish, and expect stellar results. Likewise one cannot don the Love God and simply walk into Mordor.

For myself, I stated in my first ever journal entry that my goal was to enhance my already stellar relationship with my wife. I have seen lots of positive forward movement on that goal, and everything else is a bonus. A self-confidence building, ego-boosting, 'I'm still desirable' bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.

(11-03-2018 10:46 AM)Gladen Wrote:  Well, let's face the truth: certain mixes are more effective with certain personality types for a plethora of reasons (physical, chemical, attitude, mentality, etc). One would not don Bad Wolf and then act meek and sheepish, and expect stellar results. Likewise one cannot don the Love God and simply walk into Mordor.

Ironically, I am listening to 'The Treason of Isengard' on Spotify as I procrastinate answering the plethora of emails I have. Yes, I would say I have a plethora of emails.

(11-03-2018 10:49 AM)Snoopyace Wrote:  Yes, I would say I have a plethora of emails.

El Guapo